


This Wretched World

by Himitsu_Uragiri



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Experimentation, Ghouls, M/M, Mild Gore, Tokyo Ghoul AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-24 03:34:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2566745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Himitsu_Uragiri/pseuds/Himitsu_Uragiri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where humans and ghouls exist.<br/>Who shall perish and who shall live?<br/>In this broken world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

A red full moon hung high in the starless sky, casting its eerie rays of light onto the seemingly quiet streets of Tokyo's fourteenth ward. Steadily, the wind blew large ominous clouds across the red globe in the dark firmament, its chill creeping twisted fingers to veil the light. In the empty streets below, shadows grew and moved with the shifting moonlight. The air was heavy with tension, as though the cold bricks, cement and various inanimate objects that littered the alley were holding their breaths in quiet anticipation. As the final wisps of storm clouds clutched the moon in its dark grip and its waning light no longer threaded the Earth, the streets came to life. The breath it once held was released, everything began to stir and set into motion, akin to how a trigger was pulled to announce the game of treasure hunting had commenced. 

However, this was an entirely different type of hunt. 

Shadows evolved to form figures that resembled God's greatest creation; man. These people, creatures some called, were of stronger physique with the strength of a hundred men combined encased within  a body tougher than steel. They were indestructible monsters known as Ghouls. Silence no longer ruled the filthy alley as shallow breaths could be heard in every corner. The air that shimmered with expectancy gave the illusion of distorted streets and buildings closing in on one another, eager to consume any unlikely prey into the labyrinth of fear. The many figures moved at the speed of light, often clashing against each other. To untrained eyes, it would seem as though there was no coordination to the messy arabesque that splattered the walls with crimson blood accompanied by the music of flesh ripping and tearing, growls and various animalistic vocals. 

To the black depths and red irises of a ghoul however, the savage dance was a graceful manoeuvre of ghouls in a confined alley as they gave chase to a target; a lone ghoul. The targeted ghoul was of visibly larger build in comparison to the rest of its pursuers, an abomination befitting the title of monster. Its koukaku type kagune easily broke the bones of its opponents as if they were nothing but twigs. The sturdy kagune scaled up from the right arm to the shoulder and crept further up to one side of the bearer's head, creating an armour of sorts - abnormal even among ghouls. The scaled excrescence was known as a kakuja, the result of mutation in the Rc cells from ghoul cannibalism. Repeated cannibalism could transform even the weakest ghoul into a freak of nature that submitted to madness. Without a shred of sanity they were mere monsters of destruction undeserving a name. 

With a deafening crack, a body was harshly decapitated. Blood spewed afresh from the body where the heart still beat for but a moment, lamenting the loss of its head and ultimately its life with red tears. The head was carelessly tossed aside as the ghoul bit into the wretched flesh of the body, abnormally large teeth ripping into raw muscle and tendons. It ripped off a mouthful and swallowed the disgusting meat in a loud gulp without bothering to chew. The hunter ghouls that encircled the abomination flinched and bared their teeth, anger rising in response to their fallen comrade and in fear that they too might share the same gruesome fate. In the midst of the strained atmosphere, the larger ghoul stood to its full height, wild eyes scrutinizing its adversaries from head to toe, viewing its own kin as nothing but sustenance. Its grin grew cynically wide as a mixture of blood and drool flowed continuously from the corner of its lips. 

"Weak … too weak." The sound that came from the monster was a deep rumble almost mechanic in its speech. It was an inhuman voice. "More. Need more. Stronger. Bigger. MORE!" it bellowed its single track thoughts, spit flying out of its mouth to land on the blood soaked ground. 

On the rooftop of a building directly above the spectacle, three pairs of eyes observed the fight in a calculating manner. One sat by the ledge, leaning on his arms for support as he dangled his legs by the side and swung them back and forth playfully. The other two stood close by. One had tanned skin and was of noticeably larger build. The man slouched with his hands in his pockets, inclining slightly to the side where he used his right leg to support his weight. The taller of the two stood with his back ramrod straight, hands stiff by each side of his body. Each wore a unique mask of their own, effectively hiding their faces from any prying eyes in the night. 

"What a messy eater," the man with tanned skin commented. 

"Haha! I bet he wouldn't wanna hear that from you Aominecchi. You're an even messier eater," the one that sat by the ledge said in a sing song voice.   


"Shut up Kise. At least I don't waste!" the man known as Aomine countered in annoyance. 

"Oh really, what about that time Murasakibaracchi-" 

The third person tuned his comrades out to focus on the scene below as they continued to bicker childishly at each other. Taking a confident step forward, the man placed one foot on the ledge and peered down the steep drop. The monster ghoul was picking at its opponents one after another, taking a bite out of each before casting their bloody and deformed carcasses away like a child with a selective appetite, tasting every treat in front of them and tossing away those they did not fancy. Fresh blood painted the walls and the floor; the monster itself was soaked in the dying essence as though it had just taken a blood bath. 

"Let's go," the man said as he leapt off the ledge without bothering to await his noisy companions. 

As he fell from the tenth floor, his rinkaku kagune manifested from his lower back to form four tentacle like limbs. He aimed his kagune at the preoccupied and unsuspecting monster ghoul. By the time the bloodthirsty ghoul noticed the growing shadow over head, it was already too late. At the last moment, its used its right armed kagune to shield itself in defence against the oncoming attack. As their kagunes slammed into each other, the monster crashed to the ground from the sheer forced of the impact. A crater had formed from where it fell. The ghoul who made the attack performed a somersault mid-air and landed with grace at a safe distance from the target. Two consecutive blows rained down upon the fallen ghoul when his companions from before stopped their little dispute to put together an attack of their own, driving the monster further into the ground. The crater grew in size and depth with each hit, a permanent imprint of its defeat. Blood began to pool from the ghastly wounds it suffered. 

The ghouls around them stood in shock, mouths agape and legs frozen in place by the frightening feat of the newcomers. A display of strength beyond their own left them feeling threatened. While the rest glanced nervously at each similarly masked face, one took a brave step forward. 

"Y-you … what do you think you're doing? This is our territory! Who are you with?" 

"Teikou," was the cold reply he received from the tallest of the three. 

Upon hearing the fearsome name of an organization made up entirely of insanely strong and influential SSS class ghouls, the weakling was only able to stutter incomprehensible words. Teikou was a legend among legends. Its members rightfully called monsters of intelligence more fearsome than any ghoul in possession of a mutated kakuja. There wasn't a single ghoul in Tokyo who had not heard of them. 

"If you value your lives, leave." 

Even with the mask that shielded the tall ghoul's face, the man could feel the piercing gaze cut into him, feasting on his fear. Without a word, the shorter male made a hand signal to his companions and the group of ghouls fled from the scene and disappeared into the shadows with their tails between their legs. That was the power Teikou held over lesser ghouls. 

"Hah! Cowards … now then, let's get on with our own business. The sooner we finish the sooner I can go home," Aomine said, cracking a knuckle. 

The tallest ghoul turned on his heel to face their target, their prey. With the use of his kagune, he pinned the defeated monster to the ground. It made a futile struggle against the strong confines, but was unable to break free due to its weakened state - the wounds dealt by the three were fatal and required time to heal. 

"We'll be taking your kakuhou." 

"It's useless to struggle." 

"Eat! I'LL EAT YOU!!" the enraged monster cried out. 

" Tch, be a good kid and stay still or else this will hurt more than necessary," Aomine clicked his tongue. Placing his foot on its left shoulder, he yanked the arm right out of its socket. 

"ARGH!!" the monster bellowed in pain, foaming at the mouth. It drew shallow breaths as it began to struggle anew with greater urgency, eyes wide with fear. There was something about the three that terrified even a mindless monster such as itself. But the kagune that held it down was unyielding. Kise bent by the head of the monster, using his  kagune he pulled harshly at the solid kakuja, ripping skin and flesh in the process. The mutated being screamed for mercy as it was pulled apart piece by painful piece by the trio. Stripped of its limbs, kagune and kakuja, it resembled a dying fish on land; wiggling and flailing in vain as it drowned in its own blood. Aomine and Kise stepped back to survey their work as the third ghoul reached down and finally extracted a sack like organ - the kakuhou - with his bare hands. 

An organ present in every ghoul, the kakuhou stored RC cells which could be released to form a kagune. It was an essential part of a ghoul, without it, a ghoul would be unable to regenerate and recover from its wounds. The three sought to obtain a mutated kakuhou and with this their job was completed. 

"Well then, looks like we're done," Aomine commented, adapting a bored tone as though they had completed a day of paperwork in the office instead of dissecting a live ghoul. 

"I'll be taking my leave," the taller ghoul announced, securing the organ into a steel briefcase. 

"Need help with that Midorimacchi?"

"No," came the curt reply. 

Midorima turned his back on his associates and walked off into the once again silent night. 

Come morning, one might venture into the ruined alleyway and walk upon the same path where the monster ghoul had fallen without suspecting a thing. The crater would have been filled. The walls and dirty cement dried of blood. Only a foul stench would remain but even that could be debatably blamed on the clustered trash that litter that dark corners. Rumours may circulate among ghouls about a hunt interrupted by three mysterious ghouls from a famous ghoul organization. However, there would not be a trace of the dispute. You would find nothing. 

It may just be a tall story stemmed from an urban legend. One would never know for certain. Only, one had to keep in mind the monster ghoul was missing and its body never found. 

Even legends had to originate from somewhere. 

* * *

 

Midorima Shintarou came into the world on the day the star-crossed lovers Altair and Vego were said to meet once a year; Tanabata. He however, born as a ghoul, was unable to participate in the lively event. As a boy, he would gaze out intently at the night sky and wonder if Orihime and Hikoboshi were watching the festive fireworks from a distance just as he was. The prospect of it made the day a little less lonely. 

Both of Midorima's parents were ghouls. They showed him the ropes and taught him everything he need to know to live peacefully as a ghoul in a world dominated by unforgiving humans. Before he entered preschool he had to learn to control his kakugan and kagune from appearing by reeling in his emotions. That was a simple task in comparison to consuming human food but eventually Midorima managed to perfect the art of eating human food without retching. Equipped with the vital survival skills there was still one more important piece ofknowledge his parents had instilled in him before he faced the world. One that brought great fear as it stalked the back of his mind in every waking second. Affiliations of the fearsome Commission of Counter Ghouls (CCG) should be avoided at all costs. An anti-ghoul organization founded by humans with the intent of eliminating  every ghoul that walked the Earth. The academy trained professionals to fight head on with ghouls on equal ground with the aid of quinques, weapons manufactured from fallen ghouls. Midorima need not be told twice to steer clear of the CCG. 

Growing up, the green haired boy did not face any noteworthy trouble. He was intelligent with a good physique, owing to his ghoul genetics. Midorima made minimal contact with humans, often finding them bothersome; a noisy lot of likely foolish mentalities. Choosing to forego invitations to play mindless games, he opted to read books by himself in a secluded corner. He treated ghouls - although there were not many - in the same manner. Over time, both ghouls and humans alike left him to his own devices. And that was how he preferred it. 

From the day Midorima was able to comprehend and process words, he was told a ghoul's hunger was pure hell. However, it remained a far off notion over the years as Midorima had never once come close to such a desperate situation. His parents had always made certain the small family of three were well fed, taking every precaution when out hunting for fresh corpses. His father worked as a lawyer and his mother a secretary. They were uptight people but together, they blended seamlessly into the black and white of human society. An undisturbed, tranquil life without conflict with humans; that was the ideal life his parents sought. It was in this monochrome manner that Midorima spent his days in, never questioning and abiding by his parents strict rules all for the sake of peace. A temporary fragile peace full of one-sided compromises. His grey scaled world however was destined to change with the appearance of a certain distinctive ghouls by the name Akashi Seijuurou. 

It was the blazing red hair that first caught his attention, then the charming pair of heterochromatic eyes that held him in place, unable to resist its strange pull. On the first day of school, Akashi was the one who first approached him in the school library after lessons and invited him to a game of shogi. Shogi was merely a sport he was familiar of from the various books he read - Midorima had never actually engaged himself in the game. For reasons unknown however, he was unable to refuse those mysterious eyes and knowing smile. Naturally, he lost their first match. It was a loss that served to compel  him forward, seeking a better strategic play against his challenging opponent. In little time, he found the red haired boy was a person of great accomplishments. The boy excelled at every activity he chose to pursue, be it in academics such as science and maths, or sports like kendo and basketball, and not forgetting the arts, especially calligraphy. It never ceased to amaze Midorima how the boy seemed to effortlessly outshine everyone with exceptional grace. He greatly admired and respected Akashi and despite loosing every shogi match they ever played, Midorima was never disheartened or entertained thoughts of giving up. In Akashi's presence, he only sought to improve himself. 

It was through Akashi that he met Kuroko Tetsuya, a plain ghoul of little presence even with his strikingly blue hair and equally blue eyes. Midorima's first thought regarding the ghoul was 'dull'. There was nothing remotely fascinating about Kuroko. He was average in every way, a shadow in the bursting brilliance of youth. But Akashi seemed to be wholly intrigued by the quiet boy, seeing something past the neutral expression of innocence. Something that Midorima could neither see nor come to comprehend. But Kuroko was of polite mannerisms and Midorima was content with the silence between them. No words were required in exchange for their mutual tolerance. A few weeks later, two more ghouls by the names of Aomine Daiki and Momoi Satsuki joined their ranks. He did not think much of the dark hair boy and bubbly pink haired girl that often hung around Kuroko. Their presence did not matter to him as long as they did not bother him. Midorima might have spoken to soon when Kise Ryouta had also taken to spending time with them, often being loud and boisterous much to his displeasure. Midorima could not imagine a more annoying form of company than the blond with gold eyes that hung around like an over energetic puppy. 

Six, he once thought in surprise at the prospect of having this many ghouls of the same age attending the same middle school. But that wasn't the end of it. The giant Murasakibara Atsushi became the seventh ghoul in their unlikely trope. Of all the ghouls that gathered, he greatly disapproved of Murasakibara's lazy attitude. Needless to say, the purple haired giant heeded none of his words. They were not the best of friends, if friends they could be called. Each had their own weird idiosyncrasies but they learned to accept each other for who else would accept them as ghouls if not their own kind? Unfortunately, along the way, the green haired youth noticed a slight tilt in their balance. In the three years they spent together, they had regularly argued with one another due to their clashing personalities. Yet, towards the end of their third year, they were unable to resolve these petty disputes. Midorima himself could no longer tolerate their foolish antics. 

Furthermore, he had also noted a change of behaviour in Akashi but never questioned it. Some things were best left unsaid, one look from the heterochromatic eyes held an absolute compulsion that sealed his lips, words dying in his throat. On the day of graduation from middle school, each went their separate paths, after breaking free of their strained relationship they never contacted each other again. 

Midorima's life went back to its monochrome hue where nothing could go wrong in life as it should be. He abided by the rules, lived his days quietly, ate what was sufficient and nothing more because meat was scarce. His daily routine would be the same, should be the same. There were moments however, seconds, where splashes of red, blue or perhaps yellow would lead him to question the pressing need to hide his true nature but he dispelled such dangerous thoughts just as quickly. He did everything as was the  norm, naïve in his belief that as long as he did not do wrong, nothing bad would befall him. The world however, was not a kind place. Often disregarding the efforts of an honest person. 

It started as an average day like any other; school, lessons and the walk back home past the street full of fallen petals from the cherry blossom trees that lined the path. Numerous pink petals littered the frequently trodden walkway, petals continuously trampled on until it became a sticky pink mush that often clung unpleasantly to the soles of his shoes. Everything was as usual, that was, until the moment he set foot into his cozy house only to find it ina mess instead. Cupboards and drawers were thrown open, their contents haphazardly strewn on the floor, the flower pot by the genkan was overturned, dark soil littered the area and papers were scattered everywhere. Amidst the chaos he found his mother in the kitchen, busy packing the food they stored in the fridge. 

Noticing her son's arrival, the flustered woman said without looking up from the task at hand, "The CCG are on our heels. We have to leave. Immediately." 

"Does father know? Should I cal-" the words caught in his throat. 

Before him his mother had frozen mid-action. Hands and body trembling like a lead in a storm with her head bowed low, she avoided his searching eyes. Somehow, he knew of the unfortunate fate that had befallen his father. Yet, he could not come to accept it, at least, not until his suspicions were confirmed. He dearly wished the dark thoughts painted in his mind were wrong. His father was a cautious man. He couldn't be caught easily. 

"Mother?"

After what felt like an eternity, the woman finally looked up, her face wrought with grief, green eyes brimming with tears. 

"The doves got him," she all but whispered. 

The woman desperately tried to hold back the burning tears, choosing to remain composed and strong in the face of hardship. She had a duty to protect her son, there was no time for sorrowful acts of grief. 

Midorima, having heard the whispered words loud and clear, felt his bag slide down his shoulder and fall to the floor with a dull thump muffled by his conflicted thoughts. Time seemed to whirl into a maelstrom, clouding the hours and the following events into a blur. The next thing he was keenly aware of, he was outside. It was dark and the rain came down in rivulets, soaking him to the bone. His mother was running, he was running, adrenalin pumping in his veins as he fought to breathe with his aching lungs. His burning muscles threatened to collapse - he did not know how long he had been running -  the wet surface making his every step unsteady and precarious. And yet, he continued running, the scenery whizzing past his vision and the distant lights of the city blinking like faraway stars. Doves were hot on their heels and his mother abruptly shoved him into a crevice; into the dark damp cold and told him to stay as silent as possible. She ran in the opposite direction but was stopped by a dove. 

Before his very eyes, his mother was ruthlessly slaughtered by the dove's quinque. Her screams of agony were drowned out by the sound of the hail beating heavily on the cement. Her blood was washed away by the deluge and flowed into the gutters. The dove showed no mercy and called upon his men to collect the body to harvest its kakuhou, the main component the CCG used to manufacture quinques. The men handled the corpse roughly, a treatment ruled by disgust and disrespect, they dragged her broken body away. Midorima was briefly reminded of savage beats as his mind slowly retreated into itself. For a long while, all he saw and heard were the clear raindrops and the patter of rainfall on concreate, his body numb and his mind confused and traumatized. 

For the first time in his life, he cried. For the first time in his life, he experienced a ghoul's hunger. 

"This world is wrong. Humans are wrong." 

His parents had never committed an ill dead, he too had done nothing wrong. His parents were honest people who wished to live among humans in peace. They had treated all the deceased bodies with respect and bade him to do the same. He was told never to hurt a living human and to limit the use of his kagune for self-defence. Hatred for the human race that treated ghouls as nothing more than mindless creatures never crossed their minds. It was something Midorima could not understand. As a ghoul he considered it unfair to be hunted they way they were as though they were animals simple because they preyed on human flesh. 

Akashi found him. In the darkness, hunger clawing at his stomach and his mind half mad with the desire to eat. By then, his hatred for humans had festered and burned every last thread of respect  his parents and instilled into him for the foul race into cinders. Wordlessly, Akashi pulled him out of the darkness and provided him with food and shelter. It took him a week to recover his full strength, his shallow wounds had long healed but a profound scar had been left in its wake. An unseen scar hidden deep within his conscience. 

"If you believe this world is wrong, if you wish to seek revenge upon your parent's untimely death, then join me," a pair of heterochromatic eyes stared straight into his tired green orbs as the question was asked. 

Midorima did not inquire for details. He simply nodded his consent. A quiet voice in his head reasoned, surely it was not a decision his parents would approve of. It was against their peaceful principles. But, his burning hatred had already scorched a path of destruction, one he unhesitantly took. 

Which brought him to this day. 

Over the next three years, Midorima had aided Akashi in devising plans. Small deeds that did not account to much. But in the works was something much bigger. A few days after he had graduated from high school, Akashi summoned him once again. At the appointed meeting place, he was met with familiar faces from his middle school times; Aomine, Momoi, Kise and Murasakibara. Akashi had successfully formed an organization, hidden amongst the numerous tall buildings in Tokyo. Teikou, a ghoul organization made up exclusively of the elite, a place that held fearsome power not in their numbers but their unrivalled strength and cunningness. A gathering of ghouls that loathed the human race. Ghouls that wanted revenge upon the cruel world. It was a home for the emotionally wounded. Akashi promised them a paradise full of irrecoverable things, but a paradise nonetheless. In return, they would unquestionably follow his every order. 

The red haired ghoul gave them the task of collecting data and specimens of kakuja kagunes in the fourteenth ward where cannibalism was a trend. Midorima spent a year there. Many things happened, things he did not wish to see, experience or be a part of. But he did and he was. He hunted rumoured ghouls that possessed mutated kagunes, tailed them for days, studied  their behaviours with a keen eye. Witnessed the bloody massacre they committed from a safe distance. In the fourteenth ward, ghouls hunted ghouls, ruled by the theory of survival of the fittest. Occasionally the CCG made attempts to interfere but all were brutally eliminated, no man left standing. It was a wild jungle in the heart of an urban city. A jungle that swallowed any unsuspecting by passer into its darkness. 

For once, Midorima understood why humans viewed them as bloodthirsty monsters. Those were the exact thoughts that crossed his mind as he watched an enraged ghoul paint the walls with ghoul blood. There, in the madness of the fourteenth ward, Midorima realized the existence of ghouls may be wrong as well. 

 

* * *

 

Attending the local college had been Akashi's idea. Taking literature was the green haired male's choice. There was nothing significant to his decision, it was simply the best option. Compared to the time he had spent in the fourteenth ward, college was like a breath of fresh air. He could walk down the streets without wearing his ghoul mask or be on constant guard of other ghouls and the CCG. He no longer had to bear witness to nightly massacres. The chill of the bleak darkness however, never quite left him. It was engraved into his memory, haunting his lonely night. Nevertheless, it was a much-needed change of atmosphere to clear his troubled mind. A majority of his time was spent in the campus library where he drowned himself in books to keep the story of blood red at bay as life entered another monochrome phase. His days at college were mostly peaceful. Mostly, save for an irksome raven haired human. People normally left Midorima to his own devices due to his standoffish nature and considerably rude replies. But this particular human was awfully insistent. 

He recalled the first time they conversed was in the cold library. Midorima had been searching for a specific book but was unfortunately unable to locate it in its allocated shelf. Briefly, he wondered if someone had misplaced the book on a different shelf when a cheery voice invaded his thoughts. 

"This is what you're looking for. Am I right?" 

A pale white hand and a slender wrist held up a book before his eyes, _The Black Goat’s Egg by Takatsuki Sen_ , it was the book we was looking for. Tracing the arm to its owner, Midorima was met with an unusual pair of silver blue eyes. The human male was smaller in size and almost a head shorter than him that he had to crane his neck slightly to look down but that was something he had grown inured to considering his height of a hundred and ninety five centimeters. The green haired man raised an eyebrow in question and wondered how the boy knew of the book. He did not propose a question but made a statement, implying his had prior knowledge to Midorima's actions. 

As though he had spoken his thoughts aloud, the boy grinned and said, "The reference number," while pointing to the small piece of paper in Midorima's right hand, on which he had previously scribbled the book's reference number given by the librarian. 

"I'll give this book to you … in exchange for that book." His head gestured to the book Midorima held in his other hand. "So … do we have a deal, Midorima-kun?" A casual smile etched across the black haired male's face as he casually used his name. 

In a split second, Midorima's senses were on alert. He studied the stranger before him with rising suspicion. How did he know of his name? Midorima pondered on the chances of the boy being affiliated with the CCG. It was possible this boy was of lower rank, a beginner in the large organization but his existence posed a threat nonetheless. As if he could sense Midorima's growing unease, the mysterious boy's smirk grew and his eyes glinted with mischief. 

"Hmph. It is not your property to give," he said at last, adjusting his spectacles. 

The boy blinked a few times in surprise, his mouth forming a small o. A moment later, he chuckled lightly, seeming to have found something amusing much to Midorima's displeasure. 

"Haha, guess so. But you're done with that book anyways right? So it should be fine if we exchange."

Once again, the curious word that left the human's lips fed the green haired male's suspicions. Questions raced through his mind, each causing his guard to go up as he attempted to keep his expression neutral. How did he come to know of the books Midorima read? Was he a stalker? Unable to form a proper reply due to the  worrisome thoughts invading his mind, he merely glared at the grinning male in distrust. Wordlessly, Midorima placed the book he held in his hand on a random position on the shelf. He then snatched the book from the unsuspecting male's hand and stalked off in the opposite direction. 

From behind, he heard the human burst into a fit of restrained giggles and an all to cheery, "You're welcome," followed after him. 

It was an unexpected encounter that left him on the edge for the remainder of the day - constantly looking over his shoulder, wary of any unsavoury people lurking in the crowd and cautious of his every move. Midorima wondered if he had somehow made an error in his choice of a higher institute. Had he behaved suspiciously? Or had the CCG traced him all the way here? Such thoughts preoccupied his mind as he spent the night tossing and turning in his sleep. His unconscious mind plagued by men in white coats. steel briefcases, the crystal red of a kagune, a woman's scream of agony and rain. Drenched in sweat, he sat up in bed and rubbed his neck, his throat feeling parched. Midorima got up out of bed and head towards the kitchen, enveloped in the darkness of his apartment, footsteps quiet, not wishing to impede on the silence. He dearly wished for solace. The artificial peace he lost with the death of his parents. 

To Midorima's unfortunate surprise and great misfortune, he saw the black haired boy once again the very next day in his morning class. In the large lecture hall, green eyes followed the movement of a black haired male as he milled about the room, greeting people and chatting. As though able to sense his eyes on him, the steel eyed boy looked up past the crowded seats, directly meeting Midorima's cold gaze. Shooting him a grin, the boy bounded up the stairs like a child and unceremoniously plopped down on to the seat next to him. 

"Yoh! Midorima," he greeted cheerfully. 

The green haired man must have visibly flinched as he continued talking with the ease and familiarity of an old friend. 

"Haha, I knew it. You didn't recognize me yesterday even though we've had a few classes together since the beginning of the semester." 

_ Classes together?  _

Midorima exhaled an inaudible sigh of relief as the words registered in his troubled mind. The puzzle pieces came together and he concluded the fact that the boy was not involved with the CCG, he was merely a nosy classmate. With that, his unease slowly melted away and his frayed nerves relaxed with the knowledge his secret had not been exposed. Feeling foolish for having stayed awake fretting over nothing all night long, he glared at what he now considered the bane of his existence. 

The black haired boy however, seemed all the more amused by Midorima's quiet train of thought and subsequent reaction. 

"I'm Takao Kazunari by the way. Nice to meetcha!" he finally revealed his name, smile never leaving his lips although he did not receive a reply for the tall man. 

Choosing to stiffly nod once as a formality to acknowledge that he had heard, Midorima was given a boyish grin in return. The lecturer stepped inside at that moment and called everyone to attention. He faced the front, avoiding further conversation with the human next to him as the lecturer started up the computer. Lecture slides projected onto the white screen and the lecturer commenced his boring drone for the next hour. From the corner of his eyes, Midorima observed the boy next to him as discreetly as possible. Takao was cradling the side of his face with one hand, the sweep of dark hair falling to one side where his bangs stop just slightly above cool silver eyes. He had a refined nose that lead to pink lips, currently formed into a small pout. All the while, the boy continuously twirled a pencil in his right hand. The human exuded a laid back aura, nothing out of the ordinary. 

_ He's just another run o f the mill student.  _

Such were his initial thoughts. A first impression to be altered with time. 


	2. Chapter 2

If he thought a certain blond by the name Kise was annoying, the human Takao Kazunari proved to be on a whole new level. The  blond  ghoul at least had enough sense to stop his ridiculous banter at a certain point but Takao was impossible. His insufferable company often made the green haired man lash out in anger which only seemed to fuel the boy’s laughter.

Midorima discovered that he shared two  out of five  classes with him and the energetic black haired boy never failed to sit right next to him since their initial meeting. He also proved to be smart enough that he could not complain, nevertheless that did not stop him from calling the human an idiot on many occasions.

Takao was persistent to say the least; he sought him out for lunch when given the chance, forcing Midorima to ingest the repulsive human food in front of him. Moreover, he would occasionally tail after him in between classes and it never cease to amaze him – not that he would admit it out loud – how easily the human would spot him, calling out to him from the second floor, waving like a madman out the window with his sunny smile which usually earned him a, “That’s dangerous!” from Midorima.

Unlike others, Takao was also unperturbed by his glare and silent treatment. He talked enough for the both of them, usually chattering about mundane and random things, never running out of topics or breath. That was how Midorima came to know about his part time job at the convenience store and his love for kimchi, not that he was paying attention to his mindless prattle.

Along the way he was given an overly familiar nickname, “Shin-chan,” and the boy would insist on calling him as such ever since, much to Midorima’s annoyance. There was no stopping him once he decided upon something. 

The human was always laughing, head tilted back slightly, pink lips parted to give a glimpse of pearly white teeth and a small tongue as his laughter filled the void of silence around Midorima. Much like now in response to his earlier tease; “Shin-chan, you have really pretty eyes,” he had said, elbows on the table with both hands framing his face, posing like a high school girl gazing at their crush. Midorima balked.

The only time the loud and boisterous boy would settle down and keep quiet was when he was reading. If there was one thing they had in common, it was their love for books and Takatsuki Sen’s works. Surprisingly, Takao would turn down offers for outings to spend time reading in the library with him. It was an unexpected side of the boy he often caught himself musing on.

The black haired boy was usually seen in the middle of a group, talking animatedly when he wasn’t by his side. Takao had a charming personality, little things did not bother him and his easy going attitude allowed him to get along with everyone, not that he was watching him or anything. But it was simply the fact that his voice seemed to stand out from the rest of the crowd that drew his attention. Midorima did not think much of his ability to discern the boy’s voice, reasoning that they spent too much time together.

Now, he found himself following vague directions on a flimsy piece of paper Takao had hastily doodled on earlier that  day to pinpoint the location of his home. Midorima contemplates their growing relationship, they were probably getting too close, but he was only going over to his house to get a book. Then again, this was the first time he had been invited over to someone’s home. Locating  the mundane building fifteen  minutes later, not without much difficulty due to  the confusing directions, he climbed the steps to the second floor absent mindedly only to have his thoughts disrupted by an all too familiar voice.

“I told you already, we’re over so stop coming here.”

“Kazu-chan, you don’t have to be so cold, we had  _ such _  an intimate relationship,” an unknown voice spoke, emphasizing the word ‘such’ with a lazy drawl.

Not wanting to be seen, Midorima peered by the corner of the staircase. Takao had his back to a closed door which he assumed was his apartment. A tall and lanky man with messy brown hair pressed close to the human, holding his chin. 

“Stop it,” the raven slapped the hand away.

“What? Don’t tell me, you found another man to screw you so you don’t need me anymore? Hah, you sure are loose.”

“It’s not like that and mind you own business!” Takao argued, pink dusting his pale cheeks.

“You  _ are _  my business. I’m in a pinch and I need a place to stay. Come on Kazu-chan.”

“Find somewhere else!”

The man slammed his fist next to the boy’s head, “Hey, I’ve been playing nice but you’re really getting on my nerves now,” he said in a low voice, grabbing Takao by the collar and yanking hard. 

The smaller boy struggled but was unable to escape from the strong grip. Takao was seriously questioning his choice in partners. He liked the guy’s face and his height, the man was decent at first but turned into a jerk right after. He was a sleazebag that often borrowed money from people and frequented the pachinko parlors. Takao reckoned he had run away from a particular shady man he owed money from  and came to his place for seclusion. He, however, wanted nothing to do with his ex-lover, especially not when his own security might be at stake. 

Out of nowhere, a hand grabbed the arm which held his collar in a vice like grip. Takao glanced to the side at his savior, surprised to see the familiar lush green hair and penetrating emerald eyes currently directed at the brunette. The smaller boy held back a groan and mentally slapped himself for forgetting that he had invited the man over today.

“ Heh , is this your new man? You really are a sucker for looks.” 

Takao’s face heated up at the comment from anger and then embarrassment when Midorima spared him a glance.

Tightening his grip on the unknown man’s arm, Midorima  calmly said, “It is obvious you are not welcomed here. I suggest you leave. N ow.”

“What?! No wa-“ 

I f looks could kill, the menacing glare the man received from Midorima would kill him in an instant. As the increasing pain from the vice grip made itself known the brunette decided to back down.

“Whatever!” he growled, shoving the other man away and stalked off, cussing to himself as he disappeared down the stairs.

Left alone in the corridor, Takao fidgeted under the green gaze, blatantly avoiding eye contact with the taller man. An awkward silence settled between them which Midorima found to be uncomfortable, too used to the listening to the boy’s endless chatter.

“S-sorry you had to see that,” Takao said, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

“The book.”

“Eh? O-oh yeah. Please come in.” The boy forced a smile and turned to face his front door, shoulders slightly slumped as he fumbled with the lock.

Inside the small apartment, emerald orbs silently took in his surroundings. It was an average apartment where the front door led to the kitchen and further into a single room which served as the bedroom, living and dining room. Takao’s room was unexpectedly cleaner than he had imagined for a college student living on his own. The bed was made and everything was in place  without a trace of litter.

The boy bid him to sit on the bed while he made coffee for them, quickly scurrying back to the kitchen and out of sight. Sitting down, he scanned the book shelf in front of him. It seemed that the boy had a similar taste in books as him; he owned many titles Midorima himself was fond of. He heard the kettle whistle and shortly after, Takao came back with two steaming mugs of coffee and placed them on the short foldable table before sitting crossed leg on the floor a few feet away from the man on his bed.

“Sorry, I only have instant.”

“It’s fine.”

Silence settled once again before Takao asked, head bowed low, staring at the floor as though there was something of interest there in his effort to avoid eye contact. 

“So … erm, how much did you hear?”

Midorima briefly wondered why he had not left the moment he found the two arguing outside Takao’s home. Normally, he would steer clear of any unwanted trouble, but somehow he could not leave the black haired human.  T he thought of him being constantly harassed by a random brute had invoked his ire and his body moved of its own accord before he even realized it. And now he was displeased and annoyed by Takao but for different reasons. The idiot had the nerve to avoid looking at him since before.

He understood, he was not a fool. Although he was not familiar with human mentality but he was still able to put the pieces together. Takao was gay, there was someone he was currently interested in and the person he had been spending the most time with recently was Midorima and the way he was acting now only further proved his theory. 

“I heard enough,” he sighed.

“Oh … I-“

“The person you  lik -“

“I’m sorry!” the black haired boy yelled abruptly, eyes clenched shut, hands fisting his trousers. “I- I know you’re not like that. I don’t expect anything … I just want to spend time together, as friends.” After a hesitant pause, he whispered, “Or is that no good either?”

At that moment Midorima knew, he knew he should put an end to their relationship before they got any further involved with each other and now was the perfect time to do it. But … “Hmph. Fool, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Where’s the book?”

He couldn’t.

Takao brightened up immediately, flashing him a grin as he scrambled to his feet to walk the few steps to the shelf in search of the book.

_Ah_ ,  he thought feeling relieved;  _ a smiling face suits him best. _

* * *

 

 

He had not fed in a month. Midorima had gotten caught up in the busy exam schedule, leaving him with little free time for anything else. Furthermore, on the few occasions he went out to hunt, he was unable to find a dead body. At present, hunger clawed the inner walls of his stomach, his intestines churned  and his mind was consumed by thoughts of his teeth ripping soft flesh and his tongue drinking the savory taste of warm blood. It was not an unknown feeling, often going hungry on his first few months living alone after his parent’s death. However, it did not make the experience any more bearable. A ghoul’s hunger was hell after all.

Midorima had stopped going out a week ago, his hunger made it difficult to control his  kakugan . Making trips out was too risky, if he could not control his  kakugan  in the midst of humans he would be exposed and his life at stake  but he desperately needed to eat. All in all, he was in a considerably difficult situation. And it did not help that in the past week Takao had come knocking on his door a few times when he ignored all the boy's  texts and calls.

Hearing the concerned voice and imagining the handsome features filled with worry on the other side of his door almost tempted him to throw open the single piece of wood separating them to comfort the human. But he was certain that in his current state, the tantalizing smell of fresh meat would drive him over the edge. Even now his ghoul side was telling him how easy it was to open the door, drag the unsuspecting boy into the darkness of his apartment and sink his teeth into the mouth-watering flesh, quenching his raging appetite.

No, he could not risk hurting Takao.

Dull green eyes blinked open and the man awoke from a fitful sleep to the sound of someone knocking on his door. Midorima glanced at the clock, it read 4.33 pm. It was probably Takao again; he usually came around this time if he didn’t have work. Midorima slowly got up from the couch but in his weakened state he swayed as a wave of dizziness hit him and ended up knocking the table lamp. It crashed to the floor with a loud resonance in the quiet apartment.

Takao was just about to leave when he heard the crash.

“Shin-chan … you’re in there right? Are you okay?” 

He held his breath, straining his ears to pick out even the slightest sound from inside the apartment. It had been well over a week since he last saw the green haired man, all calls and texts ignored. He was honestly getting worried and he definitely heard a crash from inside, no doubt about it. If Midorima was merely avoiding him on purpose, he’d feel disappointed and sad but would be understanding, however the man had not attended classes either. Takao wanted to at least make sure he was okay.

Releasing the breath he was holding in, he decided desperate times called for desperate measures.

“Nee Shin-chan, if you’re in there please open the door.”

“If you don’t I’ll call the police to report a break in.”

Midorima mentally cursed his luck and himself for befriending the persistent idiot. Takao’s claim was valid; he had technically been missing for more than a week. It would be disastrous if the police came barging in uninvited. He released a long sigh, resigning to fate. Slowly, he got up from where he fell and trudged to the front door on unsteady feet. Midorima gripped the doorknob tightly until his knuckles turned white and did his best to push away thoughts of feeding.

The door finally opened to reveal a much disheveled Midorima, hair sticking out in odd places, dark purple  semicircles  under dull green eyes and pale chapped lips. 

“Woah, you look like you got hit by a truck,” the black haired boy joked, throwing in a casual smile only to receive a tired glare in return.

“What do you want?”

“I was worried about you. Aren’t you going to let me in?”

“If you have no business with me, then leave.” Midorima tried to close the door but the boy was fast and deftly blocked it with his foot.

“If you don’t let me in I’ll assume there’s a robber in your house threatening you as we speak and call the police.”

Midorima clicked his tongue in annoyance. His persistence was honestly  getting on his nerves. But he was both too mentally and physically tired to fight it. He couldn't even think of a snarky remark let alone an excuse to keep the boy out of his house .  Grudgingly, he opened the door wider, allowing the smaller boy in.

“Sorry for intruding,” Takao said in a sing song voice. This was the second time he stepped foot into the green haired man’s home. T he first time he came over was because they were caught in a storm and Midorima’s place was the closest to the vicinity.

He observed his surroundings and found nothing out of the ordinary.  T he place was barely furnished and was as clean as a whistle, except for the broken lamp - small  pieces of glass littering around the area. 

“Hey Shin-chan, are you okay? I’m honestly worried,” he turned to address the taller man, staring him in the eye.

Midorima momentarily lost himself in those concerned silver blue eyes; it had been a long time since anyone cared for him so much. Since his parent’s death he had been left alone. Although Akashi had saved him from his aimless wandering after witnessing his mother's gruesome death, he was sent to a different mansion and spent his days void of any ghoul or human contact. Lost in his thoughts of the past he did not notice the other boy approaching him until he felt a cool hand on his forehead.

“Hmm … it doesn’t seem like you have a fever,” the boy mused.

The taller man froze, eyes focused on the pale hand in front of him, smelling and almost feeling the warm blood pulsing through those veins. He shoved him away harshly and Takao fell backwards with a  yelp  at the unexpected push.

Using his hands to brace himself, Takao  unfortunately pressed his palm onto a shard of the broken lamp; it easily cut through his soft flesh, drawing blood. When the smell of the fresh wound filled his nostrils, the last strands of Midorima’s self restraint snapped and he lunged at the smaller male.

Takao’s head collided with the floor, making him groan and wince in pain. “What the hell?” he popped an eye open, ready to give the man above him a piece of his mind but the words died in his mouth. In place of the beautiful green eyes he grew to love  were bright red pupils accentuated by the deep black sclera.

“Shin …. chan?”

Above him, Midorima  panted ;  hot breaths tickling his exposed neck and those red eyes stared at him with a burning intensity as the man held his thin wrists with a bruising force. Midorima’s body was telling him to feed but the little sanity he managed to maintain told him not to.

_ Not Takao. _

“I have a question,” the calm voice pulled him out of his inner turmoil. Takao wore an expression he had never seen on the boy before, oddly serious but calm. It unnerved him.

“Why do you eat humans?”

Why?  Wasn't it obvious? To survive of course, similar to how humans raise various livestock for consumption. But for ghouls, human meat was the only source of nutrition. T hey weren’t given a choice, they had no choice. 

“It’s the only way to live,” he whispered. 

“Then that’s fine,” Takao said, giving a small smile.

Midorima stared at the human in disbelief. What was fine? Being eaten by a ghoul? Being a ghoul? He couldn’t fathom what went on in the others' head. H e must be insane, did the fall hurt his head badly? Gritting his teeth, he released Takao’s wrists and got off him. 

“Leave immediately,” he bit out, stomping to his room, slamming the door shut and clicking the lock. The ghoul released a shaky breath, trying to stop the trembling of his body as his hunger soared to new heights.

Takao sat up and got back onto his feet in a daze, rubbing the sore spot at the back of his head, he was certain a bump was forming. He left without another word, not wanting to linger around. He heard Midorima’s message loud and clear. With one last glance at the dark apartment before exiting he locked the door behind him. The raven slowly made his way home, thoughts a jumbled mess as his feet walked on autopilot down distinctly familiar streets. He was shaken and confused at the turn of events but one thing he knew for certain, Midorima had no intention of hurting him. Despite the circumstances, the thought of the stoic man he held affections for had actually cared for him made him happy.

In the darkness of his room, Midorima’s thoughts wandered between his desire to eat and to Takao’s words. That was a close call. He was so close, just the thought of the black haired boy’s bloody and lifeless body with silver blue eyes that no longer shone made him shudder. Midorima admitted he was in a bad shape. With a heavy heart he grabbed his abandoned phone and dialed a number he had committed to memory - and secretly wished he would never have  use for.

As much as he hated it, there was only one person he could rely on to help him now. The call rang once, twice and was answered on the third ring.

“Hello,” the person on the other end of the line greeted in a monotone voice. Midorima stayed stubbornly silent. “Hello? … If this is a prank call I am hanging up,” the voice said.

“I need help.”

“… Midorima-kun? … I understand, message me the details …’’

* * *

 

 

Over the weekend Takao did not visit Midorima’s house. When Monday came, he awoke early and went to college as per usual, expecting another boring day without the tall man. While on the way to class however, he caught a glimpse of green hair from his peripheral vision and paused mid step. Midorima was crossing the courtyard in long strides, head held high, eyes looking straight forward and scowl present. The boy released a sigh of relief, glad to see the man back to his normal self. With a small smile gracing his lips, Takao went on his way to class.

When they had class together, Takao slipped into the seat next to the giant, all smiles and pleasant greetings.

“Hey, can I come over today?”

The question caught him off guard, Midorima  believed after what happened the human would want to keep his distance. But here he was, asking to spend time together, just the two of them. However, Midorima contemplated  their current situation, the human knew his secret, he shouldn’t even be alive right now. They had to talk. 

“Yes  …”

In Midorima’s apartment both males sat side by side on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen. Takao watched the reflection of the green haired man on the dark screen; legs crossed, back straight, elegantly sipping his coffee.  Stiff as ever Shin-chan , he thought, grinning to himself. They had settled into an awkward silence, neither knowing what to say first. But there was something the black haired boy had to say. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, silver blue orbs shining in determination.

“You’re a year older,” he said abruptly.

He held his hand up; stopping the taller man from interrupting the speech he rehearsed in his head. His eyes took on a distant look as he recalled his past. “We went to the same high school. I transferred there in the summer of my second year. You were a third year then.”

Takao did his best to explain that he did not actually know who Midorima was at first, but in many of the books that h e borrowed from the school library, he would always find the name Midorima Shintarou on the check out list. 

“Although we never met, I imagined we would get along well considering the fact that we have the same taste in books.”

The boy only found out exactly who he was when he happened to chance upon a book he had seen the green haired male drop off earlier. Midorima always had an air around him that seemed to warn everyone to stay away; to the raven he was an untouchable existence even though he had always wanted to talk to him. And one day, he unexpectedly got his chance. It was a coincidence, Takao had trouble reaching for a book o n the highest shelf. A s he was about to step on the lower shelf to hoist himself up, someone else easily grabbed the book from behind him. Turning around, he met the greenest eyes he had ever seen, instantly mesmerized by the shining emerald jewels. The taller boy had silently handed him the book and walked away.

“Thank you, “ he had called after him.

“You’re welcome,” Midorima replied in a deep baritone.

“That’s enough,” he did not want to hear anymore. It was strange, being told by someone he thought he had met recently that they had always known him stirred unknown emotions in him. 

“It is best if we do not associate with each other anymore.”

It was for the best, having Takao by his side would only complicate things. He was a ghoul and he lived off humans, he shouldn’t have feelings for him. The last time was a close call but he couldn’t guarantee what would happen in the future. The last thing Midorima wanted to do was to hurt the human. He had to cut ties with him.

“I don’t want to,” Takao argued, persistent as ever. “I … my parents are gone, I don’t have anyone … so even if I disappeared from this world, no one will miss me.” The raven haired male said in a softer voice, adopting a pained expression.

Midorima recognized the look on the human's face; it was a look he often saw in the mirror reflecting back at him when the thoughts and reality of being alone in this world plagued him. It was too lonely, too sad and it did not suit the normally energetic boy. It also angered him that Takao thought so little of his own existence.

Regardless of how much he wanted to deny it, the boy’s presence had grown on him. The feelings that gradually grew with the time they spend together were hard to ignore. Takao was unlike anyone he had ever met. He may not be outstanding but he was still different and Midorima grew fond of him.

He would probably regret this later, but he did not want to see Takao wearing that forlorn expression.

“Fool, I would,” he said, crashing their lips together and sealing their fate. There was no turning back now. 


	3. Chapter 3

Over time, the ghoul and human settled into a comfortable routine without directly addressing their feelings for each other. Namely, it was Midorima who did not want to act on his feelings while the human patiently complied. Midorima was certain of his feelings for Takao, although he was a human and a very annoying one to boot, even so, he was somehow endearing with his ever present optimistic outlook on life. However, it was also because Takao was human, an inferior being compared to himself that he could not get past the fear of unintentionally hurting him. He was after all a fragile being prone to break at even the slightest exertion of strength.

Furthermore, even if Midorima managed to control his ghoul self at all times, the fact Takao knew he was a ghoul posed a threat in and of itself to the raven haired boy. Although most ghouls were lone wolves or divided into small fractions without a ruling command, unlike human societies, they all still abide by certain rules and one in particular dictates that any human who discovers a ghoul’s true identity must be eradicated at all costs.

 

“Nee Shin-chan hasn’t it been a while since you last fed?” the black haired male casually asks, as though they were discussing about the weather. Midorima stiffens slightly at the question, which the boy catches with his hawk eyes.

“I’m fine,” he replies curtly, wondering how easy and accepting Takao is of his ghoul side.

“Shin-chan, you know you don’t have to hold back. I don’t particularly care about your diet, even if I am a human myself.”

“I’m not holding back, it’s just … I know it’s wrong but I don’t have a choice.” The boy questions what is wrong to which he replied, “Eating humans.”

“Is it really?” Takao asks in a teasing manner, pink lips forming a lopsided grin.

The question took him off guard. Midorima’s startled wide eyes were met with a pair of mischievous silver blue eyes, staring straight at him as though challenging him to say otherwise. Suddenly, the green haired man was at a loss for words. Uncertain of the answer himself, he clamped him mouth shut. Takao’s grin grew with the man’s deflating assurance.

“You told me right; it’s the only way to survive. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to live. Everyone has a right to live.” Midorima scowls at the statement and shook his head in disagreement. “Every human, not every ghoul. I’m different.”

The boy hums thoughtfully, tapping a smooth cheek with his index finger. “How are you different from humans?”

“I eat humans. I’m a monster,” he says without skipping a heartbeat. It was a fact he had learned to accept and come to terms with during his time in the 14th ward. Humans would never commit the atrocities he did.

“Are you sure?” Takao’s tone was mocking.

The ghoul stared hard at the human, wondering how he was able to turn his world upside down, making a mess of his thoughts. His doubts, fears and shortcomings seemed irrelevant in the face of this human’s beliefs. Takao waved his hand dismissively at him, saving the man from having to answer the difficult question.

“You were given birth by your parents. So was I. You were raised among humans and went to school. So did I. You need to eat and drink to survive. So do I. Your nutrition derives from human meat. Mine comes from livestock. So tell me, how are we different?”

The human received a glare and a firm reminder that humans weren’t the same as livestock from his counterpart to which he laughs off merrily.

“Humans are a type of animal too. It’s just that, we have human rights because we have a voice. And then, animals have animal rights because people view them as living beings capable of thoughts and emotions, so they gave them a voice. Who knows, one day when people realize that ghouls think and feel the same as humans, we might have ghoul rights in the future.”

Midorima instantly brushed off the boy’s unconventional claim, stating that it was absurd but Takao was steadfast in his opinions. “You’re not given a voice because people view ghouls as nothing but cold hearted killers. That’s all.”

Takao believed that conflicts arose between humans and ghouls because they didn’t understand each other. But he knew better, he met Midorima and he learned that they weren’t all that different from one another.

“Even if you don’t love me, I know you at least care for me to a certain extent … because I know for sure you would never hurt me, not on purpose. That alone is proof enough that we’re not that different from each other as you’d think. Besides, what could be more human than wanting to live.”

The smile Midorima received made his heart beat faster and his cheeks flush. He looked away quickly and brought his hand up to adjust the spectacles that sat perfectly on the bridge of his nose in a futile attempt to hide his blushing face. The boy only laughed at his antics while the green haired man watched on, transfixed by the carefree expression he wore and the tinkle of his laugh.

He liked his laugh. He liked Takao. He fell in love with him and everyday he falls in deeper, until his carefully bottled up feelings threatened to explode. He was past the point of return.

 

* * *

 

 

Autumn was undeniably Takao’s favorite season of the year. It was a time where cooling winds blew away the scorching summer heat and where leaves took on pretty shades of yellow, orange and red before falling off branches and blanketing pathways, making people feel as though they were going on a mysterious adventure to a land of fantasies. The bright afternoon sun adding to the colour as every tree decked out its leaves in reds, browns and glittering gold.

Takao had pulled on a thick jacket, feeling snug he left his home and head towards a certain emerald eyed man’s apartment. The temperature was fair but the raven haired boy had always been sensitive to the cold. While walking down the silent street, he spotted a familiar head of lush green hair.

The tall man stood in front of a chic café, talking to a much shorter male with light blue hair, dressed as a barista. As he approached the two lone figures on the street, Takao read the sign by the glass door, _Seirin_.

“Yoh! Shin-chan, what are you doing here?” he greeted once he was in hearing distance. The green haired man glanced at him for a second with a nod to acknowledge his presence before reverting his attention back to the barista.

“I have some business to take care of. I’ll see you later.” The tone he used indicated that he did not want to elaborate further. Curiosity piqued, Takao studied the plain barista, taking in his blue hair and equally blue eyes and pale skin. A sudden thought crossed his mind and he said his thoughts aloud by accident.

“Are you a ghoul?”

The two males stared at Takao in stunned silence. The human felt nervous under the scrutiny of two pairs of bright eyes, glowing green and blue.

“What makes you say that?” the blue haired barista asked.

Takao shrugged, “A feeling? You give off the same vibe as Shin-chan.”

The barista glanced from the unknown raven head to Midorima. After a moment of silence, he voiced his decision. “Please come in, I will prepare the private lounge upstairs.”

“Kuroko! T-“ Midorima’s protest was cut short by the pointed look he received from the shorter male.

Without wasting another second, Kuroko promptly turned on his heel and strode towards the entrance. He pushed the glass door inwards and held it open for the two men standing outside as a silent invitation to come in without further ado. Midorima gave the open door a grim glare before exhaling a long sigh and striding in, Takao at his heels.

A blast of warm delicious coffee scented air filled the human’s nostrils as he stepped into the café. The interior of the café was an elegant mixture of both classic and modern with marble table tops and comfortable wooden chairs. His footsteps made periodic tapping sounds on the polished lacquered floor; he could even make out a blurry reflection of himself.

There were not many customers around at this time of the day but Takao noted that there was a very tall and friendly looking waiter by the counter talking to a red headed customer with oddly split eyebrows. His attention lingered on the waiter. Midorima caught him staring unnecessarily long at the waiter, Kiyoshi. At that moment, the door at the back of the counter that led to the kitchen slammed open to reveal a menacing face seething with anger. The bespectacled black haired male stomped up to Kiyoshi to deliver a painful head chop.

“Oi Kiyoshi stop slacking off!”

Takao was slightly taken aback as he watched the scene unfold but Kuroko ushered the duo upstairs, unperturbed by the commotion the waiters made.

Once all three were settled in a room with steaming cups of coffee in front of each person, the blue haired male got straight to the point.

“I believe you have a question?” The inquiry was directed at Takao.

The raven haired boy took a sip of coffee and drank thoughtfully; the taste was rich and aromatic. Mulling over the various questions circling his mind, he picked the one that stood out the most and hesitantly asked, “This café … is run by ghouls?”

“Yes.” In a monotone voice and without further prompting, Kuroko explained how Seirin was a ghoul organization in the 20th ward. It served as a safe haven for ghouls by providing help and food for other ghouls, but of course with a certain price. Hunting for live humans was not allowed as there were other ways to acquire human meat and most ghouls would work at the café as repayment. It was a safe option because in that way, they were able to avoid the CCG. And due to Seirin’s efforts and influence, the 20th ward was considered peaceful compared to the other wards and has thus been neglected by the CCG.

“There are not many of us, we however try our best to keep each other’s backs safe.”

Throughout the explanation, the human stayed silent and attentive, taking his time to digest the information and coming to a slow understanding of how ghouls lived in this world. The more he came to know about ghouls, the more he came to admire them. Living a life in constant fear and on the run from the CCG even though they had not done anything wrong but try to survive in this harsh world; it was not a life he could imagine living.

In all his life, the CCG provided him with a sense of protection; they did their jobs well and kept people safe, but what about ghouls? There was no one to keep them safe but themselves.

“Ghouls are amazing,” he blurted out.

Kuroko blinked in confusion and Takao only smiled sheepishly.

After talking for a while more, Midorima abruptly stood up and decided it was time for them to leave.

Humming a random tune to himself, the black haired male skipped his way down the stairs. The two ghouls stayed back and watched. Once he was out of ear shot, Kuroko turned to the taller man and said, “You know what will happen when _he_ finds out. There’s nothing you can hide from _him_.”

“I know.”

The blue haired ghoul stared at his old acquaintance in wonder. Sensing his gaze, Midorima raised a perfect eyebrow in question.

“I’m surprised. That is all.”

“Hmph. Thank you for the delivery the other day. I apologize I took so long to settle my debt.”

“I’m glad to be of help anytime.”

 

In the comfort of Midorima’s apartment, the green haired man found Takao curled up comfortably on his couch after what the human claimed to be an exciting day of new discoveries. Watching the ignorant boy in that gleeful state after coming to know there was such a thing as a café run by ghouls made Midorima’s fears resurface. Takao was too unguarded and naïve when it came to matters related to ghouls.

In one fluid motion, he settled himself next to the boy and pushed back stray ebony locks. Takao’s silver blue eyes widened in surprise at the sudden contact. Midorima gently caressed a smooth cheek and the boy relaxed into his touch, eyes fluttering close, dark lashes resting on pale cheeks.

“Promise me there won’t be a repeat of today’s incident,” the green haired man all but whispered, voice laced with unease.

Takao opened his eyes and stared up to meet bright emerald eyes filled with concern. Slightly taken aback by the intensity that shone in those eyes, the boy cocked his head to one side, eyebrows knitted together, not fully comprehending the situation.

“If … you ever come across another person who you believe to be a ghoul, pretend not to know. It’s dangerous to know. Okay?”

“Mn, I understand,” the boy replied with a soft smile, nuzzling his hand.

“Promise me.”

“I pinky promise!” Takao held up his pinky finger for emphasis with an expectant look on his face.

Midorima stared uncertainly at the little finger, he had never made a pinky promise before, he had always thought it was too childish and held no meaning. However, Takao’s determined smile compelled his body to move, hooking his little finger with the boy’s one, sealing the deal.

“If anything happens … just call me.”

“I will.”

 

* * *

 

As the handle of the clock ticked to a new hour, Takao exhaled a yawn and raised his arms in a stretch. His shift was finally over; it had been a long day. After changing back into his normal clothes, he left Midorima a text message to let him know he was done for the day and on his way home.

He bid the other part timer good bye and stepped into the cold night. He had a late shift and the streets were deserted by now. Takao did not mind much since he was used to this scenery. Stuffing his hands deep into his pockets to avoid the chill, the black haired boy made his way home, his footsteps echoing in the silence.

While passing by a dark alley half hidden by a vending machine, a blast to cold air blew straight at his face, making him shiver. Takao zipped his jacket all the way up to his chin and froze for a millisecond. From his peripheral vision he spotted a dark silhouette in the alley. Quickening his pace, he heard Midorima’s voice in his head.

_If anything happens … just call me._

He fished out his phone from his jeans pocket and clutched it to his heart, ready to dial the number he had long memorized. _It’s okay. If anyone tries to follow me I’ll just call Shin-chan_.

Feeling reassured, Takao’s heart calmed down but he stayed alert, using his hawk eyes to his full advantage for the rest of the way home and was glad that no one had followed him. Once he arrived home, he made sure to lock the door securely. His nerves were on end but the boy tried to reason with himself. It might have been his imagination; he was tired and had gotten paranoid. But still, there was a nagging voice at the back of his head that said otherwise.

The next day, the raven haired boy woke up late in the morning. Even after a good night’s sleep, he still felt ill at ease from the night before. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and letting out a yawn, Takao decided to talk to the green haired man about it later. The previous day, they had agreed to meet for lunch at a diner nearby. Feeling resolved, the boy reluctantly left the warmth of his bed and prepared himself for the day.

Seated in a corner at the diner, Takao choose to bring the subject up once their food and drinks – a lunch set for Takao and coffee for Midorima – were served to avoid any interruptions.

“Shin-chan  ...”

“What is it?”

He hesitated for a moment; it might not be a good idea to worry the green haired man unnecessarily.

“You can tell me.” Midorima had placed his coffee down, giving him his undivided attention.

“Eh?”

“I know you’ve been trying to tell me something since we met this morning. I’ve waited long enough.”

The boy blushed, feeling both surprise and awe at the larger man’s ability to read him. _That’s right, we grew pretty close._ Giving a shy smile, he finally told the man what had been on his mind in a casual manner so as not to worry the man. “Last night on the way back … I saw a figure in an alley. I thought it might be a ghoul but it’s probably my imagination. I may have gotten paranoid since it was late and there wasn’t anyone around.”

Takao watched the man’s expression as he recounted his tale and just as he predicted, Midorima’s face grew grim at the mention of the word ghoul. “Shin-chan your face looks so grim you would probably scare away the Grim Reaper himself,” the boy joked in attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere that hung around the man in front of him.

“Takao. You have better instincts than most humans and you have amazing eyesight, you see more than the average person. I suggest you trust them. Ghouls which hunt for live prey rely on careless human nature.”

“I see …” he replied, looking at his plate of food. His omurice didn’t look as appetizing as it did before.

“Call me if it happens again.”

“Okay.”

Midorima was worried, staring off into the distance, deep in thought. Although his expression was a stiff scowl, his mind and heart were racing.

A few days later, the black haired boy had another late night shift and the same thing happened. He could faintly make out a figure in the darkness from his peripheral vision but this time there was something different. After passing the alley, although there was no one else in sight, Takao felt as though he were being watched. It made a chill run down his spine. Without wasting another second, he took his phone out and called Midorima. It was answered on the first ring, as though the man was waiting for him to call.

“Takao?” Midorima’s deep voice calmed his nerves.

Keeping his voice steady he asked, “Hey Shin-chan, can I come over tonight? Like now?” There was a moment of silence on the other end, assuming he was disturbing the man he hastily said, “Sorry is it a bad time?”

“No, you can come over. Where are you now? Just keep talking until you reach my street. I’ll wait for you there.”

Takao heard sounds of keys clanking on the other end of the line and smiled to himself. It felt good to be cared for by the man of his affections. “Aw Shin-chan is so sweet.”

He heard an undignified sputter and could almost imagine the other’s blushing face. And so he kept talking along the way, chatting about mundane things was easy. He did it every day, although he could not see Midorima’s face and the man did not say anything in return, Takao could still hear his steady breathing. That was all he needed.

 

While Takao took a shower, Midorima left some spare clothes on the table for the boy and made his way to the living room. The green haired male’s expression was etched in worry as he feared the worse.

“Could it be _him_?” he thought to himself aloud. He knew he couldn’t hide anything from _him_ but he had sincerely hoped this case was not _his_ doing. Either way, even if _he_ was involved, Midorima vowed to do everything in his power to keep the human safe. He would protect Takao no matter what.

When the raven haired boy came out of the shower, Midorima found himself momentarily distracted by how cute the boy looked clad in his over sized shirt that reached his mid thigh, hiding the shorts he wore as though he wasn’t wearing anything underneath and exposing slender milky white legs.

“Like what you see,” the boy teased with his signature smirk.

Pushing up his spectacles to hide his embarrassment at being caught staring, Midorima decided to change the subject to his advantage. “When is your next late night shift?”

“Hm, on Friday.”

Today is Tuesday, another three days. He had no plans on Friday night except studying. He could drop by the convenience store and walk Takao back, it was in the opposite direction but their apartments were not too far away from each other. Midorima nodded to himself, finalizing his plans in his head.

Takao raised a delicate eyebrow, curious as to what went on in the green haired man’s head.

“It’s late, we should sleep now.”

On Friday night, Midorima left his house at 9.45pm. Taking the usual route to the convenience store, he passed by the dark alley half hidden by the vending machine but did not sense anything.

At the convenience store, Takao was surprised to see him.

“Eh, Shin-chan why are you here?”

“I had to buy something,” he replied, looking away.

“Hm … what is it?” the boy asked, a playful smile forming on his lips.

“Ah …” Midorima clamped his mouth shut and scowled. There was nothing he required from the store at this hour, he had planned to walk the boy home; that was all but he could not possibly let the boy know. Takao would surely tease him again.

The black haired boy erupted into jovial laughter having figured out Midorima’s intentions.

“What’s this? Is Prince Midorima here to protect his princess?”

“This is a serious matter!” the green haired man argued, but it did not help that his face was, admittedly, red as a tomato.

“Shin-chan, thanks for coming,” Takao said with a smile full of glee.

After the boy changed into his street clothes, the duo made their way home. Takao fell into his routine of mindless chatter while the taller man only gave a few curt replies here and there to show he was listening. Midorima noticed that the boy seemed more energetic than usual; he could guess why.

They soon approached the alley and this time, Midorima could smell it, the unfamiliar but unmistakable scent of another ghoul. Stopping at the entrance to the alley, he glared into the darkness and held Takao close by the shoulder. He smelled the ghoul retreat and sighed in relief.

_It wasn’t him._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize for updating this so late. My laptop was stolen and I didn't have an extra copy of the chapter so I had to rewrite the whole thing which was a little frustrating because I couldn't remember what I wrote and I couldn't get the feeling back. So this chapter is a little half-assed and rushed. Just let me know if you see any grammar mistakes and I'll correct it asap

Takao glanced at the clock with languorous eyes; the bored boy watched as the minute ticked by and rhythmically tapped his fingers on the counter. His shift was almost over and he couldn’t wait to go home, flop down on his bed and get some well deserved sleep. Maybe he should get something to eat first too. It was the sound of the automatic doors sliding open, followed by the welcoming chime that brought him out of his reverie.

“Welcome!” he called out to the customer, but the black haired man already had his back to him, disappearing behind the aisles.

The silver eyed boy placed his elbows onto the counter and cupped the side of his face with one hand. He watched the customer walk around the store with his hawk eyes and hoped the man wasn’t a thief, that’d be troublesome. His musings however, were cut short when the stranger finally approached the cashier counter.

The bespectacled stranger was smiling. It was a cold smile that did not reach his slit eyes and made a shiver go down his spine. An alarm seemed to go off in his head, telling him that this man was a ghoul.

Takao stood up straight, plastering a polite smile of his own on his face. Honestly, he’d rather deal with a thief now than this unknown ghoul. He took the items the man had carried to the counter – a can of coffee and an onigiri – to scan and stated the price that flashed on the screen of the cashier machine. All the while, the man’s smile seemed to grow eerily sinister.

When the stranger finally paid for his things and left without a word, Takao heaved out a sigh and slumped onto the counter, the hair on his arms and the back of his neck still standing on end. The way the dark haired man looked and smiled at him was unnerving to say the least. Slowly, he fished out his phone from his back pocket and hesitantly wrote a text to Midorima to inform him of what he just saw. The younger boy pressed the send button before he could have second thoughts. He felt a bit like a helpless damsel in distress that needed to be saved by his knight in shining armor. Except, Midorima wasn’t a knight, he was a ghoul. Life could be ironic sometimes. Never in his life would he have imagined having a relationship with a ghoul before, let alone being protected by one. But now, he couldn’t imagine his life without Midorima.

Not a minute after he sent his text, the distracted boy received a reply, as though the green haired man had been eagerly waiting for him to contact him. The image of a Shin-chan glaring daggers at his phone in his head made him chuckle. Thinking about Midorima honestly helped him feel more at ease.

The text however, simply told him to stay inside and that the man himself was on his way.

“Takao! Take out the trash before you leave!” the gruff voice of his manager called out from the staff room at the back of the store.

“Coming!” the raven haired boy yelled back.

He pocketed his phone and ventured into the staff room. His manager was nowhere to be seen. The old man had probably locked himself back into his office, watching a random soap drama again.

Looking to the side, Takao saw two large overstuffed black plastic bags by the corner. He tried to lift one up.

“Jesus, what did they put in these? Bricks? … A little help wouldn’t hurt either,” the boy muttered and looked back at the closed door of his manager’s office.

Letting out another huff, he resigned to his unfortunate fate. Takao half carried and half dragged the heavy load towards the back door while praying the plastic material would not tear. After placing both bags by the back door, he unlocked the door and stepped into the dark back alley. There were no lights in the back alley, only the light from inside the convenience store provided illumination. Fortunately, the dumpster was only a few feet away.

Rolling his sleeves up, he lugged the plastic bags towards the dumpster. As he was about to heave the trash over the lid of the dumpster, the door to the convenience store – the only form of lighting in the dark alley – close shut, bathing Takao’s sight into complete darkness.

 Before he had a chance to react, ice cold fingers slithered around his neck and a thumb pressed roughly against his pulse point. The boy froze for a moment as his brain fought to calm his heart and form an efficient thought. When his brain managed to register the situation, he automatically moved to claw at the hands at his neck. The cold hands on his neck only tightened their grip, cutting off his air supply.

“Now there, relax. Don’t struggle. I don’t want to hurt you,” the voice of his captor whispered into his ear.

The unpleasant sensation made his blood run cold. Takao dug his nails into the man’s hands in a futile attempt to fight back; his captor did not even flinch.

“My name’s Imayoshi. I only want to talk. So behave yourself,” the man introduced himself and squeezed the boy’s neck once in warning.

The suffocating boy let out strained noises.

“Really now, I didn’t plan on hurting you. Even that night, I wasn’t looking for prey … but you piqued my interest. You saw me didn’t you? That night in the alley. Just now too, you knew I was a ghoul the moment you saw my face.”

Imayoshi loosened his hold on the human boy. Takao managed to choke out a breathless yes before the pressure was there again. The inhuman grip on his neck wasn’t enough to completely cut off his oxygen supply, but it was enough to allow only the minimum amount of air into his starved lungs. Black spots began to appear in his vision.

“But what really got me was that tall ghoul. He was protecting you, wasn’t he? That’s laughable. A ghoul, protecting a human?” the ghoul continued talking but Takao couldn’t quite follow his words at that point.

“Just who are you?”

The vice grip on him was loosened slightly. Imayoshi patiently waited for an answer. The black haired boy opened his mouth wide, his lungs still burning for oxygen, he spoke in a broken and barely audible voice, “S-Shin … ch-an …”

As though he had heard him call, a familiar tall green haired man appeared in front of his blurred vision.

“You’re here earlier than expected,” Imayoshi said to the newcomer.

“Let him go,” Midorima spoke in an even tone, his red kakugan glinted dangerously in the dark.

“Shame, I haven’t had any fun yet,” the black haired ghoul wrapped his hands around Takao’s neck tighter, smothering the human.

Takao desperately pulled and clawed at the hands on his neck with renewed vigor as the sensation of having his life squeezed out of him flooded his other senses.

Midorima took a stance and unfurled his kagune. The green haired ghoul emitted an eerily calm but murderous aura that unnerved even Imayoshi. Quick as a flash, Midorima attacked the ghoul. Takao was thrown to the side, his back hitting against the wall. The boy slid down the wall and landed on all fours, gasping for breath as his starved lungs struggled to heave in air. He was still a little light headed but the sudden pain that coursed through his back jolted him into alertness. Looking up, the raven haired boy could only make out a flurry of red and black shadows in the darkness as the ghouls fought.

The bespectacled ghoul was good, but Midorima had more than enough practice and experience surviving in the 14th ward. This ghoul was no match against the monsters like the green haired ghoul bred in the 14th ward. Soon enough, with a few practiced moves, Midorima was able to overpower and pierce the other ghoul in several places.

Severely injured, he ghoul Imayoshi staggered back, clutching his stomach where his intestines threatened for hang out of his body from the deep wound the taller ghoul had inflicted, his body unable to heal as fast. The green haired ghoul stood before him, without a scratch in sight, as he regarded him with cold eyes. He had miscalculated. He had not expected this ghoul to be so overwhelmingly strong. Realizing his mistake, Imayoshi turned tail and fled for his life.

No longer able to smell or sense another ghoul in the vicinity, Midorima hastily made his way to the human’s side. Helping the boy onto his feet, he quickly checked Takao for any injuries and was glad to find nothing too serious except for a few scratches here and there and the leftover red marks from where he was strangled but those would luckily heal with time.

“How are you feeling?” the emerald eyed man questioned the human, holding him up by both shoulders. The boy was still unsteady on his feet.

Takao coughed a few times before he replied in a slightly raspy voice. “I have a bad feeling,” he said in a grave tone.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Where?” the questions piled along with his worry, his mind already thinking of the worse case scenarios.

“How am I supposed to face the manager now? I was supposed to take out the thrash which shouldn’t take more than a minute,” the smaller male whined and slumped against Midorima’s larger frame.

The ghoul felt a vein pop on the side of his forehead and his eye twitched in irritation. Takao was almost killed, eaten, but all he was concerned about was his job.

“You’re impossible,” he huffed out.

“Hey! I’m serious here, I don’t wanna get fired!” he protested, pitch going up a notch.

Midorima sighed in defeat, simply glad that the shorter male in his arms was safe but at the same time he was annoyed at his inability to set his priorities straight.

 

Having put a safe distance between the green haired ghoul and himself, Imayoshi leaned against the wall for support as he fought to catch his breath. He had made a grave error, the ghoul was stronger than he first assumed. A cough wracked his body; the hand he used to cover his mouth was stained with blood. His injuries had mostly healed but he was in a terribly weakened state. He would have to eat to fully recover his strength.

“What a bad night,” the ghoul mumbled to himself.

All of a sudden, he wasn’t alone anymore. The faceless men that surrounded him wore long coats and each held a silver briefcase in hand.

Imayoshi cast his eyes up at the silver coin that hung high in the night firmament and smiled despite the situation. His smart mind had formed a quick and liable hypothesis.

“So that guy was-“

His last words were carried away by the wind and the moon, a starring eye, bright and unblinking, was the only witness of his peril at the hands of doves. Only the shadows knew of the ghoul’s end, and shadows never revealed their secrets. 

* * *

 

 

A new semester had begun and although Midorima and Takao only shared one mutual lecture, the duo had spent more time together compared to the previous semester. As classes were starting with new topics, they were not given any major assignments as of yet, leaving both youths free time to spare in the company of each other. 

They regularly met at the library or in an empty classroom in between their schedules. On a few occasions however, the raven haired boy managed to drag Midorima out into the courtyard during lunch break. There, the two would sit on one of the wooden benches, basking in the afternoon sun with the slight chill of autumn on their bare skin. On those rare days, Takao would always bring a bento and ate in silence while the taller man read his book.

After the second time that happened, Midorima realized the boy’s intention was to spend more time with him but Takao also understood that it would be too awkward for him to sit and watch while everyone else ate in the usually crowded canteen. Even though it was cold – precisely why the smaller male chose to eat outdoors despite the weather was because there were less people around – he did not mind much.

Moreover, Midorima often found the human’s bento a source of interest. He knew Takao was childish but he never would have imagined his childishness would extend to his cooking. Takao’s bento arrangement resembled something you’d only see in animes and mangas. It was colourful with cherry tomatoes, thinly sliced green veggies, octopus shaped sausages and rice sprinkled with seasonings in the shape of a heart. The green haired man once made a passing comment about the younger boy’s lunch box only to receive a cute pout.

“It’s not girly,” he had whined. “I live alone so it’s important to eat healthy since there’s no one around to take care of me if I get sick.”

Midorima pondered on the new revelation and made an offer. “I told you … you can call me if anything happens. That includes when you are ill.”

The black haired boy paused, chopsticks which held a small piece of chicken still in front of his open mouth. In the next second, his open mouth let out an uproarious laugh.

“Eh, is Shin-chan ganna nurse me back to health? I never knew you were capable of caring for a sick human, no offense.”

At that, the green haired male’s face heated up in embarrassment. He hastily adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. As much as he hated to admit, Takao was right on the spot, he hadn’t single a clue on how to care for a sick human, but it was certainly something he could learn through the vast internet and books.

“I can,” he said defiantly, making the boy snicker all too gleefully.

“Thank you Shin-chan, I’ll be counting on you!”

The genuine smile Takao presented him with was enough for him to forgive the human for his previous teasing.

While they were still on the subject, Midorima advised – insisted – that the younger boy stayed over at his place on the days he had a late shift at the convenience store, stating the fact that his place was closer and such. But the black haired boy could easily see through his façade and understood his need to take precautions after the incident with the bespectacled ghoul.

And because of Takao’s frequent visits, the emerald eyed ghoul found his previously empty kitchen cabinets were gradually stocked up with various cereal boxes and junk food. In addition to that, the fridge which he never had any use for was now filled with butter and jam, fruits, eggs, carbonated drinks, ice cream and the like. 

More than once, Midorima had woken up in the morning to find the black haired human in his kitchen, putting the cold stove to use to make his own breakfast. Somehow, watching Takao’s back as he cooked was an oddly soothing sight. And sometimes, Takao would saunter up to him to give him a light peck on the cheek with a cheeky, “Good morning Shin-chan!” much to the ghoul’s dismay.

That wasn’t the end of it though, lately he had began adding the human’s favorite snacks onto his shopping list which had all the while listed only one item; coffee. His increasing grocery list and fully stocked kitchen were changes he welcomed; it made his house feel more like home. Having lived alone for so long, he had silently missed the warmth of coming home to a house with someone to greet him. It had left a void in Midorima that he would never admit. But now, Takao was slowly filling up that void with his sunny presence and jovial laughter. Midorima would never voice it out loud, but he truly appreciated and enjoyed the boy’s companionship.

During the weekends, Takao would occasionally bring a movie rental and the two would settle down comfortably on the couch, facing the plasma TV in Midorima’s apartment. Although the green haired male would often comment on how tactless and boring the movie was, he would still pay attention to the screen until the credits rolled while Takao silently munched on his snacks throughout the movie.

On one such night, the couple was seated close to each other, not close enough to touch but close enough to feel the soothing heat that radiated from the other. The black haired human had picked up a random detective movie that had been screened the previous season. Midorima found it rather boring with its overused plot and obvious clues. The tall man reckoned Takao shared the same sentiment as him because 30 minutes into the movie, the boy began shifting around restlessly in his seat – a habit he discovered that meant Takao was bored – and before he knew it, the male beside him had sneakily tickled his side, nearly making him jump from his seat.

“Takao!” the green haired man snapped.

Said boy simply clutched his stomach, laughing hysterically.

“Oh, the look on your face was priceless! I wish I could have taken a picture of it!”

Midorima growled and pounced on the smaller male without warning. He used his larger frame and weight to his advantage and pinned the squirming boy down and proceeded to tickle him. The black haired boy struggled to get away from under him as he fought to hold in his laughter. Apparently, Takao was very ticklish judging from the desperate way he was wiggling around laughing non stop.

Gasping between uncontrollable giggles, Takao begged with tears in his eye from laughing too much, “ Enough … Please hah! Stop it.”

After another minute of torture in Takao’s opinion, the green haired man decided he was satisfied with his revenge and stopped his tickle attack. He placed his hands on either side of the smaller male’s head to support his weight and looked down.

For a moment, he was captivated by the sight of messy black hair sprawled around the porcelain white face with cheeks tinted by a lovely pink from all the laughing. Sparkling silver eyes stared up at him from dark lashes with obvious affection and a genuine smile graced his plump lips. Midorima leaned down, giving into his desire to touch. To taste.

It was the second time they shared a kiss, but unlike the first time which was only a bump of lips that lasted for mere seconds, this kiss was far more intimate. Midorima licked Takao’s bottom lip to which the younger male eagerly opened his mouth, allowing him access into the hot wet cavern. He took his time exploring the boy’s mouth, swiping his nimble tongue along teeth and caressing the little pink appendage he had often seen whenever Takao laughed, making the boy shiver in delight. Savoring the sweet taste, he pressed closer which elicited a moan from Takao as their teeth clashed. Arms encircled his neck as hands lazily threaded through his hair.

After a few minutes, they had to separate when their lungs burned for air. A string of saliva connected their lips before snapping in a second. They regarded each other silently as they caught their breath. Midorima watched the steady rise and fall of the raven haired male’s chest, feeling his breath on every exhale. Takao stared back with heavy-lidded eyes and flushed cheeks.

With saliva glistening and kiss swollen lips, the boy said in a breathless whisper, “I love you.”

It was the most sincere confession the ghoul had ever heard in his life. Those silver orbs were enchanting and as clear as crystals, they held no lies but a loving gaze. Midorima heard his own erratic heart beat drum loudly against his ears. The urge to reciprocate those feelings were strong but the words got caught in his throat.

He couldn’t say it. The simple but meaningful words of adoration, devotion and love. Even now he was scared; he cared for Takao far too much. He was afraid of breaking him. Terrified, even.

Unable to reveal his fears and his true feelings, Midorima captured those delicious lips once more.

* * *

 

 

It had been awhile since Takao had dinner out with his friends. Lately, he spent most of his meals eating alone while in the company of a tall green haired ghoul. But tonight was different, Midorima was busy with an assignment and he did not want to disturb him. 

Having random gossip about perpetually nothings over dinner and actually eating together with someone was nice and all – it was something he thought he missed – however, he had grown used to his silent meals with Midorima. Takao excused himself from the group and left early. It was a school night and he did not want to drink with the rest. He once attended classes with a nasty hangover and learned his lesson the hard way.

Humming a random tune he was fond of, the black haired boy made his way home. It was quite late; the sun had already set when he left the restaurant and there was no one else out on the street but him. The street lamps flickered, throwing trembling shadows across the ground.

“Help!” a desperate voice yelled, breaking the silence.

Takao paused his humming and waited, unsure if he had heard right or he had imagined it. The cry came again, from the alley to his left. He peered into the semi darkness but he couldn’t see anyone. The voice came from further in, probably around the corner.

“Alleys again huh,” he whispered to himself.

After the incident with the unknown black haired ghoul, Takao should be wary of dark alleys. And he was. It might be a bad idea but the boy’s conscience wouldn’t allow him to walk away pretending he didn’t hear a thing, someone might be in real danger. Steeling himself, the black haired boy tiptoed into the alley to investigate. If there was someone who needed help, he would call the emergency number immediately, if there wasn’t, he would bolt.

He peered around the corner, there was a dark skinned man crouched down on the dirty ground, trembling slightly. It looked like the man was in pain, but something about the picture that didn’t feel right. There was no sign that there had been a fight or even a struggle and the man’s shirt looked clean, it wasn’t tattered or soiled. Takao couldn’t see the man’s face but his senses screamed at him to run and he did just that. He backtracked his way to the entrance but someone stood in the way of his escape route.

“Is something wrong?” the tall man asked, his blond hair swishing as he walked.

His handsome features were etched in worry. Takao was relieved. However, the relief was short-lived when he caught a brief glint in the stranger’s gold eyes.

Takao ran for his life through a mass of shifting shadows, getting lost in Tokyo’s labyrinth of alleys. Turning round a corner, the black haired human found himself at a dead end. He looked back, it did not seem as though anyone had followed him. Taking his phone out, he dialed Midorima’s number. To his surprise, the call was diverted to the man’s mail box.

Did Midorima turn off his phone to better concentrate on his assignment? But that couldn’t be, the green haired man had always kept his phone on.

Suddenly, the echo of footsteps joined the sounds of his heavy breathing. Turning around, silver blue eyes zoomed in on a figure that emerged from the shadows. Takao was momentarily captured by a pair of glowing mismatched eyes – one red and the other yellow – that sent a chill down his spine and raised goose bumps on his skin. Although the man was of moderate height with a slightly slender build, he gave off an aura that seemed larger than life.

When the owl light hit his red and yellow eyes, Takao could discern a bloodthirsty gleam in them.

“Takao Kazunari, pleased to make your acquaintance. I am Akashi Seijuurou.”

His speech reflected a good upbringing but it was spoken in a tone devoid of emotion. It made the black haired human flinch.

Overall, Akashi seemed polite at first glance, on the other hand, he gave off the feeling of being drenched in blood even though there was none in sight. Takao took an instant dislike to this man. Akashi was intelligent and dangerous. There was nothing more terrifying than a sophisticated beast. A beast that made plans, calculations and observed his prey before striking had higher odds of succeeding.

“You’re admittedly better than I expected. A normal person would fall for Ryouta’s acting skills. Your ability to discern ghouls from humans is most intriguing. However, I believe you understand that you pose a threat to our well beings. Therefore, I cannot allow you to live.”

The red head took a step forward, eyes glowing eerily in the moon lit alley. Takao’s mind filled with unfiltered dread, his body froze on the spot. He desperate tried to calm himself down but he was under the spell of those heterochromatic eyes.

“Stop!”

An all too familiar voice exclaimed. Midorima came up behind Akashi, out of breath. The green haired male easily towered over the shorter red head but even then, Akashi’s large presence was unmarred.

“Akashi … please stop. Don’t do this.”

“Shintarou, I am most disappointed in you,” the red head said coldly. “You of all people should understand the dangers of allowing a human who knows your true identity to roam free.”

“Takao is different. I want you to trust my judgment, please,” the green haired man implored. Midorima stared into Akashi’s unyielding eyes, hoping to get his point across.

“Very well Shintarou. You are an old friend. I will let this slip one time. However, if Takao proves to be suspicious, I will not hesitate the next time,” Akashi stated, turning his back to them. He left, swallowed by the shadows.

Once they were alone, Midorima heaved a sigh.

“Shin-chan, you’re like a prince on a white horse!” The excited exclamation came from the black haired boy. “You came in the nick of time.”

For reasons he could neither describe nor understand, halfway through his assignment, Midorima felt a sense of foreboding creep up on him. Unable to get across Takao’s number, he decided to look for the human. He was glad he did.

“It was a coincidence.”

“Shin-chan … thanks for coming. I was … kinda scared,” the boy admitted sheepishly.

“I’ll walk you home.”

“I’ll take you up on your offer.”

For once, Takao did not tease the taller man.

 

Lives in Tokyo moved on, unaware of the chain of events that was beginning to take place as the wheel of fortune spun. Somewhere in the city of lights, in a nondescript room, a figure shrouded in darkness carefully composed a text message. After hitting the send button, the content of the mailbox was erased and the phone turned off.

Outside, a dog howls its somber song.

_If you were to write a story with me in the lead role, it would certainly be … a tragedy._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the title because it sounds too much like a tongue twister.  
> This is actually half a chapter, but I'll be busy for the next few weeks so I wanted to get this up asap since I don't know when I'll be able to complete the other half. Unbetaed as usual so please do inform me of any mistakes you come across. Thank you and enjoy~

Chains clinked, the sound sharp like a cutting blade through air so still and cold it seemed to pierce his eardrums. Alone in the middle of an empty room, even the sound of his even breaths were magnified. Midorima hung his head low, greasy bangs covered his eyes, obstructing his line of sight. It did not matter. Enclosed within the four filthy walls with paint peeling off in several sections and the ceiling – which sported a single dim light – decorated with overhanging dusty cobwebs, there was nothing to see.

He kept his eyes firmly closed. Even if he were to open them, he’d only be greeted by the sight of his battered trousers and the stain chipped marble floor. Both of which were things he did not fancy seeing.

Weakened and heavily chained to a metal chair in this room that smelled of mold, there was nothing for Midorima to do but think. The green haired ghoul thought of anything and everything, but most of all, he thought of a certain silver eyed human he knew fondly of as Takao.

Why he was friends with a human? Humans were every ghoul’s natural enemy, as much as they were a source of nutrition. So how then, did he befriend a human? The more he thought about it, the more confused he became. Whenever he was around Takao, he’d be enveloped by foreign emotions that warmed his hands and made his heart ache curiously.

It must be Takao’s fault.

 _That’s right_ , a small voice in his head whispered approvingly. It was all Takao’s fault. Takao was Midorima’s weakness.

_Annihilate him._

_Kill him._

_Eat him._  

 

* * *

 

 

Takao sighed and frowned to himself. The black haired male crossed his arms as he scanned the various brochures fanned out on his coffee table. His cup of tea was half empty but it had gone cold awhile ago and the boy couldn’t find the energy in himself to make another one or chug down the chilled liquid.

Exhaling another exaggerated sigh, he allowed himself to fall backwards onto the floor, sprawling out his arms wide and straightening his legs to form a human starfish position. Takao had closed his eyes and started to nod off in the comfortable warmth of his room when there came a knock on his door, startling him awake.

“Coming!” he yelled, rolling onto his side before getting up from the floor.

Padding softly to the door, he was fairly surprised to find that it was none other than Midorima Shintarou standing tall and proud at his front door.

“Eh? Shin-chan, I didn’t know you were coming over. Or did I forget?”

“No. Sorry, I should have called. Did I interrupt you? I only came to return your book. I won’t bother you now,” the tall man said, extending the hardcover book towards him.

“No, not at all. Please come in. You’re not a bother,” the black haired male replied with a pleasant smile.

Midorima respectively took off his shoes at the genkan and walked into the raven haired boy’s room. He headed straight for the book shelf by the wall and slipped the book into its appointed position. He had familiarized himself with the book arrangement a while ago. Turning around, the bespectacled man noticed a bunch of pamphlets scattered across the short table and took one to inspect out of curiosity.

At that moment, Takao returned with a cup of his favorite blend of coffee for him.

“Are you looking for a new place?” Midorima inquired.

“Yeah, my lease is about to expire. I thought of extending it for another year but the walls here are really thin and my new neighbors are noisy,” the boy shrugged.

“Have you decided on another place yet?”

The younger male hummed, his left hand holding his chin in thought. “Hm, not really. I wanted to stay around this area since it’s close to college and my workplace but there aren’t many good choices.”

“Move in with me,” the words tumbled out of Midorima’s mouth before he had a chance to give it a second thought.

Takao stared at him incredulously, cheeks tinged with a rising blush. Seeing the younger male’s reaction, he felt his own face heat up as he came to realize the true impact and implication of his careless words.

Cohabitating with Takao meant taking their relationship a step forward. Over the past months since their initial meeting, there were many occasions in which they would spend the night or even the entire weekend over at each other’s respective places. And despite being alone, the two of them had never gone past kissing and heavy make out sessions.

Even now, Midorima still feared that he would one day, be it intentional or not, hurt the silver eyed boy he came cherish so much. Takao understood this and gave him the personal space he needed, the human was observant in that way.

Nevertheless, by living together, things between them could change, for better or for worse. Still, Midorima believed he was ready for it.

For the few months since he met the queer silver eyed male in the library that fateful day, he was exposed to many new experiences and sensations, both good and bad. He was glad to have someone to spend his time with but his constant fear of hurting the black haired human was also eating away at his conscience.

Despite it all, he truly appreciated Takao, who unconditionally accepted him for who he was. Midorima had never met anyone like him, he was special and he wanted to treasure the precious hours they spent together. And more than anything, he wanted to treasure Takao.

Steeling himself, the ghoul forced his mind to think of ways to persuade the human to accept his offer.

“My apartment is large enough for two people, I have a spare room. We can share the rent. It is also close to our college and your workplace. My neighbors are also fairly quite, I assure you they will not disturb your resting time,” he hastily listed off everything he could think of.

Takao, however, still looked a little baffled with his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape in an almost comical way. A minute passed where neither said a word. Midorima had pinched his lips together tightly in anticipation.

“Um …” the raven haired male started, trying his best to sort out his jumbled thoughts to form a coherent sentence. “I don’t … er.”

The taller man could guess his answer from the way the boy fidgeted and the look of uncertainty on his handsome face, but he would not give up so easily. He was determined to see this through no matter how embarrassing the situation.

“Come live with me. I insist,” the green haired male said, staring straight at Takao to show him he was serious. 

“I … I’ll think about it,” the younger male finally replied, face flaming red, silver eyes avoiding Midorima’s.

 

* * *

 

 

The sky was dark blue, hinting at the winter that lay ahead. Midorima was on his way home when he spotted a familiar black haired male in the distance, entering a café he knew all too well. He quickened his pace and wondered what business Takao had that led him to Kuroko’s café.

Upon entering the coffee scented shop, the green haired man heard Takao’s familiar carefree laughter over the chime of the bell to announce incoming customers. He was surprised to find the raven haired boy by the counter having an animated conversation with a red headed man. Kuroko was nowhere to be seen but judging by the smell, he was close by.

“Takao,” he called out to get the boy’s attention.

“Shin-chan! Fancy seeing you here!” Takao’s face lit up with delight, his smile growing wider.

“I saw you outside. What are you doing here?”

“Shin-chan … could it be, you followed me here? When did you become my stalker?!” the silver eyed male exclaimed dramatically.

Midorima groaned inwardly, the human male was in one of his teasing moods again.

“I beg to differ. What are you doing here?” he reiterated his question, opting to ignore the boy’s previous teasing.

He knew Takao well enough to know that he could never win against the younger mischievous male.

“The coffee here is good,” the raven haired male announced matter-of-factly with a smirk.

“And this man is …?” he indicated with his eyes at the red head that was sitting right next to him. He was a little too close for comfort in Midorima’s opinion. The green haired male wanted get in between them.

“Ah! This is Kagami. He’s a regular here.”

“Hey, I’m Kagami Taiga. Nice to meet you,” the man extended his hand in greeting.

Judging by the smell, Midorima deduced the man was human. He stared at the offered hand in distaste. Although he got along well with Takao, the green haired man was still skeptical and in no hurry to befriend any other human. His dislike for mankind ran deep. It was not something he could forget easily, not after what the CCG had done to his parents.

Kagami studied the taller man’s face for a moment and instantly noticed the man’s displeasure and clicked his tongue in annoyance.

“Not very friendly are you now,” he said, voice heavily laced with irritation.

“Typical of a brute to make mental shortcuts,” Midorima replied icily and gracefully adjusted his glasses up the bridge of his straight nose.

A visible vein throbbed on the red head’s temple and the male bared his teeth. Kagami rose from his seat and Midorima was pleased to find he towered over the man a few good inches but the red head showed no signs of backing down.

“What was that four eyes?!” the red head growled.

Before the green haired male could make another insulting remark, Takao interfered by latching onto the taller man’s arm.

“Now, now. There’s no need to fight. Shin-chan’s a big tsundere. He’s probably just shy but doesn’t wanna let it show,” the shorter boy cooed and pulled Midorima onto the seat to his right.

Kagami too, sat down on his seat with a huff and grumbled to himself all the while shooting glares at the bespectacled male over Takao’s head.

Kiyoshi, who stood behind the counter, had a goofy smile plastered on his face. He found the trio comical what with how Kagami and Midorima were having an intense staring contest where he could almost see electricity crackle between the pairs of red and green eyes. All the while the black haired male sandwiched between them remained seemingly unperturbed by the tense atmosphere and looked as though he was genuinely enjoying himself.

“So Shin-chan, how’s your classes? You must have it easier since you’re not in Nakatani-sensei’s class. We’re having our winter break soon and I swear my lecturers are demons hell bent on torturing our poor souls! I mean, what decent human with an empathetic mind would burden their students with assignments during their precious break? I won’t be able to have fun at all with this workload,” Takao whined, raising his arms to the heavens dramatically.

The boy’s lengthy complaint did its job as the other two men ceased their staring contest to a halt. Midorima decided to ignore the red head brute to give Takao his undivided attention instead.

“You can finish it quickly if you put your mind to it,” the bespectacled male advised, like any good scholar would.

The younger male merely groaned and plopped the top half of his body lifelessly onto the table. Kagami gave a few awkward pats on his distressed friend’s back, earning a glare from the green haired man.

“Maybe you could ask someone to help you out?” he suggested helpfully.

“Hmph. Takao isn’t an idiot like you. He is fully capable of completing his assignments through his own effort.”

“Why are you acting all damn high and might-“

“Aww Shin-chan thinks I’m smart. I’m so flattered,” Takao said, batting his eyelashes.

The afternoon wore on in the same manner, with Midorima and Kagami throwing insults at each other and Takao dutifully interfering with their arguments to avoid a full out war. Inside the café, the artificial yellow lights blinked on as the golden sun began to set. The trio decided it was time to part ways and bid each other good bye.

As the brilliant orange orb slowly disappeared beyond the horizon, blanketing the world in shades of grey, Takao sneakily intertwined his cold fingers with Midorima’s. There was no one around so the ghoul gently grasped the boy’s hand until their hands shared the same temperature. Even then, he did not let go, finding comfort in their shared warmth against the cold night air.

The two parted ways at the usual intersection and went to their respective homes. Midorima would have accompanied the black haired male home but Takao merely teased him for being overprotective and insisted that he could take care of himself. The taller male left it at that.

Nearing his apartment, Midorima was able to pick up the scent of another ghoul in the wintry air. The green haired man halted his steps and held his breath, searching the shadows. The frosty air was still and he could not see anything shift in the darkness, but he knew the other ghoul was close.

“Greetings, isn’t it a lovely night tonight?” the voice came from behind him, confirming his suspicions of the presence of another ghoul.

Midorima turned around without haste to face the newcomer. The man had black hair and sharp brown eyes. A smirk adorned his features. Although he had never met this ghoul in person, he was certain the man who stood before him was Hanamiya Makoto, a ghoul infamous for his sadistic exploits.

Seeing the light of recognition in the deep green eyes, Hanamiya’s smirk only grew.

“Midorima Shintarou, a former member of Teikou. I’ve heard much about you. I’d like to talk and get to know you better.”

“I refuse.”

“No need to be so hasty. I insist you come with me. I have something of interest for you,” he explained, grin in place.

Without bothering to reply, Midorima was about to walk away when the next sentence that came out of those grinning lips stopped him in his tracks and made his blood run cold.

“You wouldn’t want anything to happen to that human now would you?”

Green eyes narrowed suspiciously at the dark haired male.

“What a scary glare. Don’t worry, I won’t harm him … so, let’s talk.”

The taller male clenched his fist tightly and gritted his teeth. If he had to follow this dangerous man to avoid jeopardizing Takao’s safety, then he would.

“You better keep your word.”

“Oh, I will. I promise,” Hanamiya swore with a hand on his heart but his tone was mocking. 

 

* * *

 

 

The café was filled with a buzz as the customers inside chatted leisurely amongst themselves. Outside, the snow fell, blanketing the town in a sheet of sparkling white. People on the streets were clad in thick clothing that covered every inch of their skin from the biting cold of winter. Many had entered the small café for a cup of hot coffee to dispel the chill. Some gratefully took their steaming Styrofoam cups filled with the delicious liquid with both hands, taking a few sips before braving themselves for the trip out in the cold once again. Some found a table and took their own sweet time to warm their bones.

Takao had been in the same seat since early in the morning, which was roughly three hours ago. His bottom had begun to hurt a little from sitting so long without moving and he had grown terribly bored of watching the interactions within the busy café. He was probably on his third or fourth cup of coffee and the excess caffeine was making him jittery. The raven haired male let out a long sigh and tried his best to dispel the storm clouds that hung drearily above his head. A task easier said than done.

Midorima had been gone for a month and he was worried sick. He had gone to the bespectacled man’s apartment many times but neither the landlady nor his neighbor had seen or heard of the man. In addition to that, all his calls were directed straight to his voicemail.

The black haired boy was at his wits end and even though he had promised his green haired partner never to involve himself with any ghouls, Takao decided he would take a risk and ask Kuroko for help. However, it seemed fate was not on his side. According to the waiter Kiyoshi, the master of the café was out on an errand and would not be back until the late afternoon. Instead of going home to pace through the floor until he bore a hole, Takao chose to wait in the café.

“Let me refill that for you.”

Takao snapped out of his reverie and looked up at Kiyoshi’s kindly face.

“Thank you,” he replied with a half hearted smile.

He cupped his cold hands around the warm glass and closed his eyes, inhaling the fragrant scent of coffee in hopes of calming his turbulent nerves.

“Kuroko should be back anytime now so just hang in there for a little while more kay.”

As if on cue, the front door chimed open and in came a short male with a head of familiar blue hair. Takao jumped out of his seat, nearly knocking over the chair in his haste, and sprinted towards Kuroko.

“Kuroko!” he attempted a friendly greeting, one hand raised in an awkward wave as his fingers involuntarily flexed open and close.

The shorter male took one look at him, saw his anxious face and knew that something was not right.

“Please come upstairs with me.”

Seated in the same room as his first visit, Takao kept fidgeting in his seat as he waited for the blue haired ghoul to return.

“Sorry for the wait,” Kuroko apologized upon entering.

He was clad in his usual black vest and white shirt in lieu of the overcoat he wore earlier.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry too … for imposing on you so suddenly.”

“Is it about Midorima?”

The black haired boy heisted for a moment. “Well yes. You see, Shin-chan’s been missing for a month and I can’t get in touch with him at all!” he poured out quickly. “I was hoping you would know what happened to him. I’m really worried. It’s not like him to just up and disappear.”

Kuroko silently observed the silver eyed male seated before him as he spoke in a strained voice. Takao’s usual carefree expression was replaced by a small frown, his delicate eyebrows knitted together. There were dark circles under his eyes and his black hair was slightly more disheveled than usual. It was obvious how much Midorima’s well being affected the human.

The blue haired male was certain that if Midorima was in Takao’s shoes, he’d be just as wracked with concern, if not more. In the past few months, although it was slight and subtle, Kuroko had seen a change in his former schoolmate’s countenance, especially in the presence of Takao. Midorima’s usual cold green eyes would soften when their gaze was directed at the raven haired male. The green haired ghoul would not want any harm to come to Takao nor involve him in anything that would threaten his life.

“I see. I will look into the matter, personally,” he said slowly, choosing his words wisely for he knew how acute the human was.

“Thanks Kuroko,” Takao forced a smile.

After a while, Kuroko escorted the black haired boy out of his café. Watching his retreating figure, the owner of café Seirin whispered, “I’m sorry.”

The fair haired ghoul had known about Midorima’s disappearance for a while now and based on the rumors he heard, he had an idea of what unfortunate situation befell his former schoolmate. But he couldn’t disclose such information to Takao no matter what, knowing how reckless the boy could be at times. Getting the raven haired human involved was out of the question. It was also what Midorima would want.

 

* * *

 

 

Ever since he was first chained to the metal chair, Midorima had neither eaten nor drank a drop of water. The green haired man had lost track of time, there was no way to tell the time in the bare and windowless room. To him, a minute felt like an hour. He didn’t even know if it was daylight or night time.  All he knew was that he had been trapped in the room for quite a long time judging by the way his hunger slowly clawed at his intestines and his every thought.

At first, he could not figure out what went on in his captor, Hanamiya’s mind. The ghoul was a sadist renowned for torturing his preys in the worst ways imaginable. But the man had not lifted a finger at him at all. Hanamiya would merely come by once in a while and place a hot plate of freshly cooked human meat on the chipped wooden table in front of him.

The third time this happened, Midorima finally understood his intentions. The man fully intended to mock him with a wicked mind game. The mouth watering steak would be placed right in front of him, just out of reach. Its smell so tantalizing it made his stomach growl loudly. When Hanamiya was satisfied with the green haired male’s expression; wide green eyes focused solely on the piece of juicy flesh with drool flowing down the sides of his gaping mouth, the dark haired ghoul would take a seat and began to happily feast on the succulent meat.

All Midorima could do was watch helplessly as the man consumed every morsel and how he licked and smack his lips for emphasis. The worse was how Hanamiya would often pick up the last piece of meat and dangle it in front of Midorima’s eyes before consuming it. It drove the chained ghoul mad every time.

The green haired ghoul was growing impatient and losing his sanity. Hanamiya had him exactly where he wanted him to be. And that fact only served to fuel Midorima’s ire and irritation.

Today however, was different. For one thing, Hanamiya entered the room empty handed. There was no steaming food, only the sadistic ghoul smirking triumphantly down on him. Midorima glared at the hateful man with all his might.

“That’s it, such a good expression. You look just like the beast you were in the fourteenth ward,” the dark haired man mocked which earned him a low growl from his captive.

Hanamiya circled his prisoner, his footsteps echoing loudly in the empty room.

“You must be starving by now …” he stopped behind Midorima and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry. You’ll get to feed soon … very soon,” he squeezed his shoulder slightly.

Midorima turned away and closed his eyes, too weak to struggle away from the man’s hold on him. Letting go of the green haired male’s shoulder, Hanamiya made his way towards the door. Just before he turned the handle, the ghoul gave one last look over his shoulder.

“By the way, your little human has been worried sick about you.”

At the mention of this, Midorima’s head snapped up.

“Don’t worry. I promised not to hurt him. I merely plan to bring him here. I’m sure you miss him too.”

With that said, Hanamiya exited the room with a wide smirk on his face.

“It’s Takao’s fault you’re in this dreadful situation,” he said, clicking the door shut firmly.

Midorima starred wide eyed at the door long after it had closed and its bolts on the other side locked into place. The green haired ghoul was once again left alone as increasingly dark thoughts invaded his mind. He wanted to scream, rip his hair out, and wipe the smug grin off Hanamiya’s face, anything. Anything at all to stop the voices in his head. Midorima had become a prisoner of his own mind in this world where time held no meaning.

_This is Takao’s fault._


	6. Chapter 6

Three whole days had passed since he last spoke to Kuroko. The black haired male had meticulously counted the time down to the last second. It served as a small distraction even though it did not help ease his anxious mind. Takao knew something was terribly wrong. The millisecond of hesitation and the shift in Kuroko’s eyes had not escaped his hawk eyes.

The blue haired ghoul was hiding something from him. Takao was certain of that much. As of what exactly he was hiding, he could only make speculations. But the black haired boy didn’t want to jump to conclusions or think of the worse.

Slowly, he dragged his tired body back to his apartment. Not wanting to mope at home, he had spent the afternoon in the library trying to do something productive but his attempt to finish his assignment had failed miserably. The raven haired male’s every thought was consumed by Midorima.

“Shin-chan … just where are you?” Takao whispered to himself, his breath forming a white cloud of mist in the bitterly cold winter air.

“I know where he is.”

The abrupt voice of another person cutting through the silence made the boy jump out of his skin in surprise. Lost in thought as he was, he had not noticed anyone approaching him. Takao spun round to face the owner of the voice. A pale face framed by dark hair with cold metallic brown eyes stared languorously at him and a wide smirk graced the stranger’s lips.

_A ghoul._

“If you wish to see Midorima, I would gladly take you to him.”

“And if I refuse?”

“If you’re smart enough, you would take my kind offer.”

Takao bit his bottom lip, thinking through his situation. He could either follow the stranger to god knows where and get himself in a pinch later or he could refuse and get himself in a pinch now. Between the devil and the deep blue sea, he chose the latter.

“Alright, take me to him,” he voiced his decision.

Frankly, Takao had expected to be shoved into a sleek black car with tinted windows, or maybe blindfolded and manhandled. But he guessed having a handkerchief doused in chloroform pressed to his nose and mouth until he fainted worked too. He probably watched too many movies. That was his last thought as he passed out.

 

The silver eyed male woke up to find himself on an uncomfortable table. It took his groggy brain awhile to get his bearings but once he did, the human was thankful that he wasn’t gagged and his hands and feet were not bound. It meant he was safe. Well, relatively safe for the moment.

But the question remained, where was he?  

“Glad you’re finally awake,” the ghoul he met earlier appeared by the doorway. “Come with me. We shouldn’t make him wait any longer.”

Obediently, the raven haired male slipped off the hard table and followed the mysterious man. They walked down the dark corridor in silence, their footsteps echoing loudly in what Takao assumed was an abandoned building. The floor was covered in dust, irritating his nose as their movement disturbed the micro particles. Takao noted that there did not seem to be anyone else within the vicinity based on the empty rooms they walked past.

The ghoul stopped in front of a heavily bolted steel door. Hanamiya effortlessly pulled the bolts back and entered the room, the black haired boy at his heels.

There, in the middle of the room was Midorima, shackled to a chair. Without a second thought, Takao raced towards the green haired man and dropped to his knees.

“Shin-chan?” he reached up and held the man’s shoulders and tentatively shook him.

The man was deathly pale and cold to the touch. When Midorima showed no signs of rousing, the black haired male stood up and faced Hanamiya, fixing him with a glare.

“What did you do to him?”

In his fury, Takao forgot the man in front of him was dangerous and grabbed his collar.

 

A familiar voice broke through the dense fog of Midorima’s mind, stirring the man awake.

“Ta … kao,” the name barely left his chapped lips when the person in question appeared before his eyes.

“Shin-chan! Thank goodness you’re awake. How are you feeling? You okay? You’ve been gone for a little over a month. I was worried.”

Instead of answering, the green haired male shook his head, breathing heavily through his open mouth.

“Shin-chan?”

“I didn’t do anything to him. Not physically,” Hanamiya sneered.

He leaned on the wall, watching with rapt attention.

The words clicked in his mind and Takao understood with dreadful clarity. The man did not do anything to Midorima, he didn’t need to. Midorima was simply starved and a ghoul’s hunger was hell.

_Enough to drive one insane._

As if on cue, the green haired male made a low animalistic growl and started straining against his restraints. Surprised, Takao fell backwards onto the dirty floor. The boy stared up at the man in shock. Midorima’s normally composed expression was no where to be seen and the red eyes that stared at him from behind the foggy lenses of his spectacles showed no signs of recognition. Only pure carnal desire shined in those eyes.

“Shin-chan?” he voiced weakly, only to receive a snarl that made him flinch.

This was not the elegant green haired man he knew and loved, this was a starved ghoul who had lost his bearings, driven by burning hunger. Midorima unceasingly muttered a single word to himself as he pulled weakly at the chains that bound him to the chair. It was hardly audible, but there was no mistaking it; the word _meat_.

“That’s it. What a great expression,” Hanamiya commented, making his way towards the chained ghoul. Stopping beside him, Hanamiya bent down until he was at eye level with Midorima and whispered into his ear.

“You’re here because of him. But if he’s gone, you don’t need to be contained anymore. Doesn’t he look delicious? Your _weakness_.”

The green haired ghoul thrashed wildly in his seat like an enraged beast. Both his mind and body was only driven by one thought, and that was to feast on the human in front of him.

“Shin-chan? Shin-chan, please, it’s me. Takao,” the raven haired male’s pleas fell on deaf ears.

“Forget it. The only thing a starved ghoul can think of is to quench his hunger. Right now, to him, you are nothing more than food … but once he regains his senses after eating you … well, let’s just say I look forward to seeing his misery.”

“No!” Takao shouted, getting onto his feet.

“I know for certain Shin-chan won’t hurt me.”

The boy’s outburst only served to fuel Hanamiya’s laughter. This was far more entertaining than the man had expected. His original plan was to starve Midorima to the point of insanity, until he would look at any human, including the human he was so fond of, as food. And after the deed was done, he would enjoy watching the bespectacled man fall into despair. But now, Takao’s unwavering confidence in the green haired male was an added bonus. Hanamiya wondered what expression the human would make as he was being mercilessly devoured piece by painful piece by Midorima. It was the ultimate betrayal, he couldn’t wait for the show to begin.

“We’ll see about that,” his smirk grew sinister and with a flick of his wrist, the chains that bound the green haired male came undone.

No longer restrained, the hungry ghoul leaped out of the chair and towards his baffled prey. Using his larger body, Midorima easily pinned the human boy down. Takao thrashed around but the grip on his arms were unrelenting.

“Shin-chan, stop. Please listen to me … Shin-chan, you need to wake up. Please,” the young man implored, silver eyes staring up at the pair of kakugan.

Time seemed to stop for a moment in Midorima’s mind at the close proximity. Takao’s familiar scent filled his nostrils, overwhelming him. He could feel the boy’s heat, his every breath and hear his palpitating heart. The silver eyed boy under him was so alive … so temptingly delicious.

_Eat him. Be rid of your weakness. A_ single voice in his head yelled, soon joined by a hundred other voices until he could not make a single word from the cacophony of noise in his head. Midorima wanted to block out all the noise but he couldn’t, there was no escape.

“Shintarou.”

It was a whisper, in a soft voice he found familiar. And just like that, the voices in his head ceased. Slowly his vision cleared, the last tendrils of red haze swirled away. The man found himself in a cold barren room, soft pants ricocheting off the walls and into his ears. He could feel warm breath coming from beneath him. Takao’s face filled his sight, silver eyes bright in contrast to the dark room. Midorima knew what he had to do. The green haired male got off the human and stood up.

Curious, Hanamiya watched as the ghoul swayed slightly on unsteady feet as his kagune took shape. Expecting the flexible tentacles to stab into the supple flesh of the human boy, the dark haired male was taken off guard when the kagune lashed out at him instead. It smashed against him, sending his back against the wall so hard a dent formed. For the fleeting moment where Hanamiya clutched the back of his head trying to get his bearings, Midorima grabbed the raven haired boy by the arm and ran out of the room as fast as his legs could carry him.

Through the winding darkness of the abandoned building, Takao allowed himself to be dragged along, stumbling blindly. His heart was racing a mile a minute, his lungs ached at the sudden sprint and his sides protested at the exertion. After a few minutes when his adrenalin had run its course, Takao slowed to a halt, wheezing and he clutched his stomach in pain. The black haired male squeezed his eyes shut and focused on breathing.

Midorima too had stopped, perspiration rolling down the sides of his face.

“We have to get out of here quickly. He can easily track our scent,” the taller male informed.

“Wait … just let me catch my breath,” the boy wheezed out.

The green haired ghoul closed his eyes and tried his best not to breathe in Takao’s scent. Instead, he focused on his surroundings. The ghoul got down on one knee and placed his open palm on the floor. From the vibrations he felt, he could tell there were not many people in the building. Hanamiya was heading towards them while two floors below, three pairs of footsteps were fast approaching them. Standing up to his full height once again, Midorima informed Takao of his findings.

“We’re being pursued as we speak. We have to make haste.”

“Eh, do you know the way out?”

At the question, the bespectacled male grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Just follow me. I’ll find a way out.”

With that said, the ghoul turned on his heel and made his way further down the dark corridor, making sure to keep a few paces ahead of Takao. He was still unbearably hungry and his sanity hung by a fine thin thread that would snap at any given moment.

Midorima resorted to clenching his fist tightly, digging his nails into the flesh of his palm. The pain served as a reminder for his conflicted brain to stay focused. However, the smell of his blood had provided an easy scent for Hanamiya and the other ghouls to track him. The tall man cursed his own foolishness, he was as good as a walking beam in the otherwise deserted building. Their pursuers were already closing in on them. If it came to a fight, Midorima wasn’t sure he could go against multiple ghouls at the same time. If only there was an easier way out.

_Just eat him and it’ll all be over_. A velvety voice cajoled him.

“No!”

“Shin-chan? Are you alright?”

The human hesitantly reached out a hand towards the taller man.

“Don’t touch me!” he roughly slapped the hand away. A loud smack resonated in the long corridor.

“I see you are already at your breaking point?” a smug voice said form the darkness.

Hanamiya had managed to catch up to them while Midorima was lost in his own conflicted mind.

“Takao, get behind me.”

“Still putting up a fight? Why do you complicate things? It’ll be so much simpler to let go and give into the temptation. Just imagine, relishing in the savory taste of his soft flesh, his screams for mercy only adding to the flavor to his taste.”

“Shut up! I’ll kill you!” Midorima spat out with venom.

Hanamiya began cackling hysterically. “That’s it! You’re a monster. Your hands are stained with the blood of countless ghouls and humans. Stop this farce of playing domestic with your little human.”

The sound of footsteps pounding up the stairs echoed from further down the corridor. Takao turned back to peer into the darkness beyond when three familiar figures came into view. The tallest of the three smiled kindly at him. The second, a bespectacled man, was glaring, but his glare held no malice. The last, whose light blue eyes were glowing came to a halt a few feet away from the duo.

“Kuroko?!” the raven haired male exclaimed in surprise, at the same time feeling relief wash over him at the appearance of the three men.

“What’s this? Uninvited guests?” Hanamiya’s kakugan appeared, displeased at having his game interrupted.

“We came as soon as we realized you were here,” Kuroko said, ignoring the dark haired ghoul before them.

“Damn brats, can’t stay out of trouble,” Hyuuga spoke from behind the shorter male.

“Hanamiya, the game is over. We’re leaving now,” Kiyoshi announced, staring pointedly at the displeased ghoul.

“Did you honestly think I came here alone, where anyone might waltz in to interrupt me?”

The group tensed as the dark haired male laughed.

“Do you have any idea what’s happening outside?”

“What are you planning?” the blue haired male asked calmly.

Throughout the exchange, Midorima’s eyes had never left Hanamiya’s and now, the ghoul directed his ominous gaze at the green haired male. The sides of his mouth curled upwards into a sinister grin.

“I wonder.”

“Kuroko,” Midorima addressed his former schoolmate in an even voice without breaking eye contact. “Take Takao with you. Keep him safe.”

As the words left his lips, a single tentacle emerged from the tall ghoul’s lower back, the strong limb lashing in the air.

“Takao-kun, let’s go.”

“Shin-chan? I’m not leaving without Shin-chan.”

“It’s best if we make a move now. I’m sorry Takao,” Kiyoshi stepped up and effortlessly lifted the black haired boy over his shoulder as though he weighted nothing. Takao, who was draped over the man like a sack of potatoes, protested by hammering his fist onto the man’s strong back and flailed his legs.

“Don’t move around so much or I might drop you by accident,” he said good naturedly.

“Put me down! Wait! Shin-chan! Shin-chan!” the boy cried out as he was swiftly carried away.

Kuroko stalled and quietly watched the distressed boy’s futile attempts.

“Please be careful, Midorima-kun.”

With a last glance back at the taller man’s broad back, he ran to catch up with the rest.

 

“What is the meaning of this? Do you plan to play the role of the hero and buy them time to escape?”

“No. I plan to kill you,” Midorima said uncharacteristically calmly as the red of his kakugan replaced his usual deep green eyes.

“That’s even better,” Hanamiya grinned wickedly.

The dark haired man raised his right arm, his koukaku kagune slithered along his arm, its surface covered with large spikes that glinted a menacing scarlet. Midorima was the first to make a move. They fought in a mess of tangled limbs, trading blows. Urged by blind rage and lead by his primal instincts, the green haired ghoul’s hits were ruthless and brutal.

Even as he was overpowered and forced back, his kagune barely able to keep up with the flurry of attacks, Hanamiya could not help but smile. He had watched the green haired ghoul fight a number of times in the fourteenth ward. The tall man would often watch his enemies before taking calculative strikes but Hanamiya wanted to see more. Now, he reveled in the frenzy and uncoordinated attacks, all trace of elegance gone, leaving only a raw mind. In the middle of the battle, the taller male’s spectacles were knocked off and he loved the wild eyes that showed nothing but blood lust.

“Finally! Descend into madness!”

“Shut up you filthy scum!” Midorima glared and bared his fangs, red irises cold and barbaric.

Consumed by the desire to kill, the green haired man relentlessly attacked the dark haired ghoul until he fell. He pinned the ghoul face first onto the floor by stabbing his kagune through the man’s arms and legs. Slowly, Midorima leaned down and bit into the ghoul’s kagune. White teeth mercilessly ripped the flesh piece by painful piece as the ghoul’s pained howls echoed around them.

_This is disgusting._

“St- Arghh!”

Bite.

_It tastes worse than rotten flesh. But I’m so hungry. I want to puke._

Chocked sobs begging for mercy fell to deaf ears.

_So hungry. This is wrong. But … so hungry._

 

Finding the nearest exit was a relatively easy task. It was the masked ghouls that guarded the entrance that posed a problem. Takao had never seen so many ghouls in one place before. A line of red eyes glowed with a murderous glint. He could hear the growl of silent threats and see the shifting shadows as more piled in. For once, the human boy questioned and doubted his decision in the face of impending peril.

_Why did I come here?_

“Takao-kun, please stay back,” Kuroko said and pushed him behind a pillar.

“Eh? Kuroko?”

“Don’t worry, we can handle this much,” Kiyoshi smiled encouragingly.

“And also, you should close your eyes, Takao-kun.” The shorter male blinked and when he opened his eyes again, his irises gleamed red.

Not heeding the ghoul’s advice, Takao watched in horror as the ground began to pool with blood from the fallen ghouls and the sound of screams filled the air. Unable to bear the sight any longer, the human closed his eyes and pressed his tremulous hands to his ears to block out the sounds of skin tearing, bones cracking and the cries of pain. The boy was glad he had not eaten anything in a while or he would surely empty the contents of his stomach onto the stained floor.

_So this is what ghouls are capable of ... seeing it firsthand is different from what I expected. This is … sick._

"Takao-kun.”

The black haired male peeked open an eye, Kuroko looked normal. He did not look like a murderer.

“Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. I’m fine,” his quivering voice betrayed his words.

“We’re done here. Let’s go, we can wait for Midorima-kun outside.”

Without another word, the blue haired ghoul took hold of the boy’s hand and led him through the garden of bloody corpses, watered with the metallic scent of blood. Takao tried not to step on the pools of crimson liquid but it was like trying not to step on puddles after a rainstorm. A deed both futile and silly to attempt. The splash of his footsteps on the still warm pools of crimson would echo in his ears for many nights to come. And the image of shadows dropping like flies ingrained into his mind.

_This is wrong. Wasn’t there another way?_

Takao held his breath and clenched his eyes shut until he was safely led out into the open. The bitingly cold wind caressed his cheeks. It had started snowing again and the frosty air provided a small sense of relief. The cold of winter stung the back of his nose and numbed his bare fingers. His erratic heartbeat slowed as he breathed evenly, creating small white puffs when he exhaled.

“Don’t worry. They’re not all dead,” the bespectacled ghoul informed in a soft tone, lacking his usual bite.

“They wouldn’t have let us go otherwise,” Kuroko explained, searching for some form of understanding in the boy’s silver eyes.

“Okay,” Takao replied, staring at his shoes to avoid eye contact.

The black haired boy closed his eyes and took a deep breath and exhaled slowly to clear his distressed mind, when a distant memory flashed across his closed eyelids. Torn flesh, dim eyes and angry red bruises.

_That’s right. This is just how things work. This is always how this condemned world rotated around its axis._

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I was just little surprised,” he said, finally looking the blue haired male in the eye.

The human berated himself, if not for them and what they did, he might not be alive right now. He owed them for saving him when they had no reason to. This wasn’t the time to mourn for the lives of people he did not know and who had possibly wanted to take his life.

“Thanks for coming. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I … I just hope Shin-chan is fine.”

“Midorima-kun can take care of himself. But he was at his limit, he probably wanted to put some distance between the two of you, for your safety.” 

“Is that so …” he trailed off, lost in thought.

Although he had said that, Kuroko wasn’t all too sure for himself. He had never seen Midorima in that state before; his kakugan glowing with bloodlust. He had always known the tall man to be a composed and calculative person in any situation. The blue haired male could only hope for the best.

Takao looked up at the tall building with its shattered windows and cracked surface. The snow continued to fall, white dust gathering on his shoulders. Hugging himself, the raven haired male mumbled to himself. “What’s taking him so long?”

“Speak of the devil,” Hyuuga muttered, casting a lazy eye at the entrance.

The human ran towards the entrance and peered into the darkness. The floor was still littered with bodies and the sick smell of blood still fresh. Out of the inky black of the interior, a tall figure emerged into the waning light. The first thing Takao noticed was the blood on the green haired male’s shirt. It wasn’t just one or two splatters – the front of his shirt was dyed in crimson and the boy worried that the man had been badly injured but that wasn’t the case. Dried blood trailed down the corner of his lips, down to his neck and collarbone. Midorima was also missing his spectacles.

“Shin-chan?” he called tentatively in a small voice.

The tall male regarded him with dull green eyes.

“Shin-chan, what happened?” he was almost afraid to ask.

The man who stood before him was a stranger in Takao’s eyes. Although he looked the same, the aura he exuded was different. Midorima wore an expression the human could not decipher as he stared at him impassively. The black haired male searched the empty pools of green for any signs of recognition but found none. It was as if the Midorima who stood before was an empty shell without a soul.  His mind raced with a million questions that he was unable to give voice to. Preoccupied with his thoughts, the boy had not noticed Kuroko approaching him and the small hand that clapped him on the back came as a shock.

“Let’s go,” the shorter male simply said.

“We parked the car a few blocks away,” Kiyoshi explained with his ever present smile despite the tense atmosphere.

Hyuuga had already stalked off ahead of the group. Without further prompting, Midorima followed the group, eyes staring straight ahead. Takao followed closely at his heels.

Kuroko watched the two lonely figures thread into the snowy night. If he was not mistaken, the blood he smelled on the green haired ghoul belonged to Hanamiya. And based on the location of the stains, he could only guess what became of the infamous sadistic ghoul. But this also meant other problems would come to surface. Midorima had chosen a path he should never have gone down.

Was it worth it?

 

* * *

 

 

The black haired male woke up to cream coloured sheets smelling of lavender in an unfamiliar room. It took awhile for his sleep-addled brain to formulate an answer. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, the boy recalled the events of the previous night in mixed snippets. After loading themselves into Kiyoshi’s car, Takao was gently lulled to sleep by the motion of the vehicle. He vaguely remembered someone shaking him awake and leading him to a bed where he promptly passed out from exhaustion.

As Takao sat up on the bed, he studied the barely furnished room. From the beige walls and smooth wooden furniture, the male deduced that he was most likely in one of the rooms of Seirin café’s building. A soft knock came from the door and a head of light blue hair peeked in through the small crack between the open door.

“Good morning, Takao-kun. Are you hungry? Would you like to have breakfast?”

“Now that you mention it, I haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday,” the black haired boy replied, giving a sheepish smile as he felt his stomach rumble at the thought of food.

Takao followed the shorter male out and into another room. Midorima was in the room, his hair clean and a new pair of spectacles on the bridge of his nose. He was dressed in a crisp white button down and finely ironed brown slacks, quietly sipping his coffee. It looked like another average morning, if not for the dull green eyes.

Takao took a seat across the man. There were already sandwiches and a cup of coffee laid out on the lacquered table.

“I’ll be downstairs if you need anything,” Kuroko said before closing the door softly behind him.

Normally, the silver eyed male would start chattering aimlessly to fill up the silence but today, Takao’s mouth felt as though it weighted a tonne and thus he ate in silence.

“We should stop seeing each other,” the deep voice spoke without warning, rendering the boy momentarily speechless.

“Wh-What?” he stuttered, his eyes wide.

“I was right. Your life will be at risk as long as we continue this unconventional relationship.”

Midorima closed his eyes and ignored the throbbing pain in his chest. This was something he should have done a long time ago. Before this started. Before he befriended the human. Before he spent all that time with his arms wrapped around that slight figure. Before he fell so profoundly in love with Takao that it felt as though his heart was being stomped into a million pieces.

“Do you regret meeting me?”

The question snapped him back into reality. Opening his eyes, he was surprised to find silver eyes glaring at him with a ferocity he had never seen before. Midorima opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, uncertain of what to say.

“I don’t. If I had a second chance, I would do everything exactly the same … because meeting you was the best thing that happened to me. I love you,” the human said with conviction.  

The boy’s dark brows drew together and he bit his bottom lip, holding back the tears threatening to fall out form the corner of his glassy eyes.

“… I don’t regret meeting you.”

_I love you like a curse._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I might or might not update next month. Lack of motivation orz


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sad attempt at something dark and serious.  
> So ... I've fallen into the hole of self loathing and am tempted to rewrite this fic because I'm not satisfied with it overall. This fic will either go on hiatus or deleted depending on my mood so this is just a heads up (for those who reads a/n's)

His earliest memories were of white washed walls, the still air of a cool room and children’s building blocks, the only colour in the white silence of his confined world. At the time, he only knew of the things that existed inside the windowless sixteen square feet room with a door on the far side of the room that lead to a toilet. In that blindingly white space where he could hardly distinguish one drawer from the other of the white dresser and the floor from the carpet by the way his small feet sunk into the softness, his only form of entertainment was the building blocks that came in various colours.

He had not understood the concept of colours then and marveled at the blue, green, purple and yellow square blocks – and especially the single red triangular block. However he stacked the blocks, he would always place the red one at the very top of his tower. Day in and day out, only the sounds of the wooden blocks colliding against each other would echo in his ears.

Without knowing anything and without understanding anything, the red triangle had become the child’s favorite in that lonely world.

One day, a new door in his limited world opened. It was a door he had never noticed existed, camouflaged by the startling white of the entire room. With it, a strange creature clad in white came into his world of solitude.

The creature; a faceless giant that loomed high above him with storm grey eyes, brought with him the most marvelous red he had ever seen on a plate made of china. And with it, a tantalizing smell that was foreign but immensely welcomed. His stomach immediately reacted by making a loud growl.

“Eat,” the creature spoke in a deep baritone.

It was the first word he had ever heard in his life. Yet, without knowing the word, he understood what it meant. With small pale hands, he tentatively reached up for the large plate. He cradled the flat round object in his arms and stared in awe at the flesh dripping red atop it. His first taste of human meant was his most unforgettable memory. It was warm and wonderful, as though being embraced in a mother’s bosom. 

At the time, he wondered how he lived before without tasting such wondrous meat. But just as sudden as it came, it ended. Nevertheless, it left him in a haze of satisfaction as he watched the man leave with a now spotlessly clean white plate out the hidden door and into the unknown world beyond.

He did not touch his red block that day.

As time passed, he fell into a routine. The man in white was the not the only person who invaded his solitude.  Other men in long white coats, clip-on ties, ironed black slacks and polished shoes came into the room once a day to tutor him.

He learned that he was four years old. He was just a little boy in comparison to the adults that he conversed with on a daily basis and had much to learn from them. Language, writing, mathematics, history, science, geography, culture and arts, no subject was left untouched.

As engaging and interesting as these lessons were however, the thing he waited most eagerly for came once a week, served in the same white china. The thing he now knew was called human flesh, the most exquisite delicacy in the world. And the one thing that sustained his life.

He came to know red as his favorite colour.

Day by day he became increasingly curious and interested in the world from which the men and the greatest gift that existed came. By then he had already grown tired and bored of the dull and brain numbing everyday routine. He often wondered what existed outside the four startling white walls that encased him; like a caged bird that had grown impatient of its confined space and longed to spread its wings and soar the skies.

The thought of exploring an unknown world with a vastness he had read in books, thrilled him. He wanted to witness for himself the lush green trees that lived for many years, blue skies dotted with cotton candy clouds and the last rays of the sun that illuminated the sea, staining it the colour of rubies. He yearned to live in a world filled with colours he could not name. He wanted to see the horizon that stretched beyond the eyes. He wanted to feel morning dew on his skin and smell the scent of flowers in the breeze.

The sixteen square foot room began to suffocate him. He wanted out. One day, he got what he wanted.

That day, four men came into the room. Cold eyes regarded his little five year old physique and instructed him to get on the metal table they had wheeled in. He obediently got onto the table and lied down, the cold hard surface bit into his back.

The men strapped his wrists and ankles to the table and wheeled him out. He watched as the white of his ceiling and the arch of the door way whiz past, his small heart five year old heart palpitated with excitement. Alas, his childish mind soon learned of its naivety.

The world outside the comfort of his room was nothing like he had imagined. There were no birds riding on the currents of the wind, there were no multiple shades of soothing green, there was no smell of fresh air. Instead, it was cold, unforgiving, cruel and painful. The first time he was taken out, he wished he never had to leave the white room again.

That day, he learned that his body pulsed with crimson, and the crimson known as blood would flow out once his skin was pierced.

Maybe he did not like the colour red as much.

He hid his favorite red triangle block deep in his second drawer. Out of sight.

Since the first day he was taken out of his room, he dreaded the alternate days when the table would be wheeled into the room. Subjecting him to the mercy of the men in the white tiled room whose white gloves would be stained with red by the end of the day.

The schedule for his meals had also changed to a biweekly basis, much to his misfortune. Every other day he would have lessons as per normal and on the other days, he came to understand that they were conducting experiments on him. They tested his regeneration, his brain capacity when in stress, his resistance to various poisons and drugs and his strength.

Through all this, a stoic man with flaming red hair was never far off, watching him intently with a pair of heterochromatic eyes. Be it behind the protection glass or by the doorway. The man was always in his line of sight. They had never interacted or conversed before, however, the man became a constant amidst the multitude of people whose faces he could not remember that poked and prodded him everyday.

In addition to that, he often felt a strange pull towards the man. It was a feeling he could not name, try as he might to indentify it. There was simply something in those stern yellow and red eyes that drew him in. He wanted to talk to this intriguing man. He wanted to know him better.

One day, his wish was granted.

His meals had become less frequent. The experiments conducted on him became more taxing. The men in white surgical gloves began injecting him with RC suppressants before they started their experiments, metal instruments glinting menacingly in the harsh light. They slowly increased the dosage little by little every time until he thought he would surely die from being subjected to excruciating pain for hours on end.

He thought his had heart stopped beating. He wished his heart would stop beating. He read that if it did, he would die. With death came oblivion. Oblivion sounded better than endless pain. What he would give to feel nothing. To see nothing instead of blood stained gloves and terrifying metal appliances. To hear nothing instead of the sounds of a sharp scalpel cutting into his flesh, drowned out by his own screams of pain and agony. To smell nothing instead of the scent of blood, his blood.

Weak from exhaustion and lack of nutrition, the red headed man approached him for the first time and offered salvation.

“I am the head researcher of this institute. You may address me as Doctor Akashi for the time being.”

“Doctor … Akashi,” he said in a small voice. His cracked lips caused pain with the slightest movement.

“Impress me.”

He stared at the man quizzically.

“Show me, why I should keep providing you with such precious human meat.”

Driven by hunger and fatigue, he pleaded, “Please … I will do anything.”

“Very well,” the man nodded, his impenetrable eyes gave little away.

Three men came into the room, blindfolded him and dragged him out on his two unsteady feet. The men were rough and walked quickly, forcing his shorter legs to run to keep up with their long strides.

He stumbled on, falling a few times and scraping his knees. He smelled a tinge of his own blood and knew he was bleeding. His pants echoed along the empty corridor.

The place they were leading him to was different. The usual smell of disinfectant was replaced by damp and mold. Through the blindfold, he could tell the pathway was only dimly lit.

Finally, they came to a stop. His skin rose with goosebumps and he could hear his heart beat in his ears. The blindfold was then roughly yanked off his head. Blinking a few times, it did not take him long to adjust to the yellow light.

They were in an underground facility of some sort. Large grey stone columns stretched up to the dark ceiling. They stood a few feet away from the drop of a large oval pit made from the same battered stone.

A foul stench hung in the air. Looking into the pit, he discovered the nasty smell came from the many rotting carcasses below. The pit was considerably deep, the walls smooth with no foot holds but he knew a ghoul could easily crawl or jump out of it. So did the skeletal remains belong to humans? Upon closer inspection, he saw that the unevenly discolored walls and the dirty ground of the pit were stains of dried blood. He swallowed back the bile that threatened to surface. What sort of place was this?

“To earn your keep, you will have to fight to the death with this ghoul,” Doctor Akashi said.

With a wave of his hand, the heavy iron gates on the far side of the pit lifted up with a load groan on its rusty hinges. From the darkness beyond, a burly man wearing nothing but a pair of black tights stepped into the light. The monstrosity stood in the middle of the pit, its eyes darting around the confined space in a crazed and hungry sort of fashion. Upon seeing no one, it bellowed out mournfully.

He gasped at the inhuman sound, which drew its attention to him. The monster locked eyes with him, its breathing intensified as it took a step closer.

“That is one of our enhanced prototypes. If you can defeat it, I will grant you your freedom from the room. Are we clear?”

He gulped nervously, his throat suddenly felt dry and parched. The monster looked ridiculously large even from this distance; he could not imagine how it would overshadow him if he stood in front of it. He was only a child. He could never hope to defeat such a strong opponent.

“Answer me boy,” Doctor Akashi snapped.

“Y-yes, Sir.”

“Get him into the pit,” the man ordered.

Two men appeared by his side, each took hold of one arm and unceremoniously threw him down the edge.

He landed on his front with a loud thud and groaned in pain, wondering if he broke anything.

At the bottom of the pit, the stench hit him at full force. Instinctively, he brought his hand up to cover his nose in a futile attempt to filter the foul air through his fingers. It was then that he looked up and saw the abomination of a human approaching him in an unsteady gait, as though it were drunk. Its head was too small and its body too large. Its arms were longer than its legs and both limbs bulged with muscles and thick veins. The thing hardly looked human in his terrified eyes.

As the thing drew ever more closer, his heart began to beat faster, harder, louder until finally it stopped for what felt like a long second. The thing placed a leather clad foot in front of him and grinned down at him, showings it yellow and rotten teeth.

“Hello boy.” A putrid smell that made him gag came from its mouth as it spoke.

“P-please don’t hurt me,” he begged, frightened as he was by the gigantic monstrosity before him.

Looking up from his position on the ground, he felt like a helpless insect about to be crushed underfoot. From all the lessons he sat through, none had taught him how to fight. Fighting against this thing, let alone winning, was a Herculean task.

“Don’t … hurt … me?” It repeated, rolling the words around its tongue. “No … I will not hurt.” It said before grabbing the top of his head with its large hands, effortlessly pulling him up.

He winced from the pain of having his head squeezed so tightly and the odd sensation that his neck might snap with gravity pulling his body down while he dangled a few feet off the floor.

“I will kill you.” The thing growled. Its putrid breath made the bile rise up his throat, he wanted to vomit.

He let out a weak no, tears brimming in his eyes. Without warming, he was forcefully flung across the pit onto the opposite wall like a rag doll.

For a moment, he struggled to breathe and choked on his own blood when he vomited the red substance. Feeling eyes on him, he looked up to find Doctor Akashi watching him; their eyes met. The man wore his usual stiff expression that revealed nothing. Even so, he could see a slight twitch in his muscles that formed a small frown and the way those mismatched eyes shone with contempt. The judgmental figure above him was clearly displeased.

He forced himself to stand up on his trembling legs. Wincing, he bit his bottom lip as every movement caused an electric jolt of pain to run up his spine. But he couldn’t give up yet. He had to impress this man. He staggered forward as his head throbbed. There had to be a way to win. He wanted to go out. If only he could beat the monster, he’d be able to see for himself the blue sky, the green grass and the orange sun. 

“Crush … I will crush you.”

His vision filled with the ugly face of the monster. This time, he took a fist to his face. He felt blood run down his nose. Despite the black spots swimming around his vision, he got up again.

_Concentrate._ He told himself. 

The thing approached him, its grin all teeth and dripping saliva. It raised its arm and he successfully evaded the next painful punch. Seeing an opening at the thing’s confusion, he took his chance and aimed a kick at its shin. The monster did not budge; instead it stared at him curiously. He continued his flurry of kicks and punches at the unrelenting muscles until his fist were raw and his breath short. The monster released a throaty laugh.

“That … tickles!”

The kick he received knocked the wind out of him and he was certain his ribcage was shattered by the piercing pain that accompanied each shuddered breath he took. He tried to get up but fell again. Everything hurt, his chest, his head, his arms and legs. This was no different than when he was on the operating table with a scalpel tearing his skin apart to expose his innards. There was pain and then more pain.

Once upon a time, he wanted to be released from his small world constricted within the room. But now, he dearly wished he could have stayed in that white silence and hidden under his blankets.

Unable to breathe properly, he rolled onto his back and stared up at the dark ceiling. There were no stars. He had never seen stars.

Doctor Akashi was no longer looking at him. The red head had his back to him, speaking to another man in a white lab coat.

Was this the end? Was pain the only thing he would ever feel? He thought remorsefully as the cold crept up on him. What would oblivion feel like?

Death brings up fear, and fear in turn, brings up regrets. It brings up the finer details in life that you never paid heed to; either out of ignorance or simply because you did not care. And with it, other strong emotions will surface. Emotions strong enough to compel you forward.

This isn’t fair. Why was the only one that had to suffer? Why was he the only one in constant pain? No more. He would show them what pain feels like.

The thing was grinning down on him, its foot raised, ready to stomp down and crush his fragile skull. And then it came.

It was an odd sensation, like a thousand insects were crawling around inside the skin on his back. He stood up and felt his bare back. Indeed, something under his skin was moving, undulating. The sickly sound of his flesh prickling filled his ears.

His pursuer stood not far off, watching, waiting. All eyes were on him. It was time. Time to show them … his kagune.

Everything was dyed in red.

 

There were no mirrors in the white room. He had never seen a reflection of his own face before. He did not know what he looked like. He only knew of his own pale thin limbs and his neatly clipped nails.

Now, a younger version of Doctor Akashi stared back at him from the mirror. The same red hair, the same heterochromatic eyes. He hated his red hair. He hated his red eye. He hated the fact that he was drenched in red blood. He hated the colour red.

Closing his eyes, he submerged himself into the bathtub.

Akashi was dressed in a grey button down, black trousers and a shiny pair of black shoes. It was his first time wearing something other than the usual white robes. The high collar felt stifling and his toes felt constricted in the socks. However, he showed no signs of his discomfort and kept a straight face as Doctor Akashi gave him a once over.

“From today onwards you will be called Akashi Seijuurou. Your mother died while giving birth to you and you are my son. You must call me Father,” the red head said, his tone authoritative, leaving no room for arguments.

“Yes, father.”

“And you must listen to everything I say. Are we clear?”

“Yes father.”

“Do not let me down, Seijuurou.”

Akashi stared at the man before him, unable to give voice to the questions swimming in his head. Was this why he had always felt a connection to this man? Because they were related by the blood that ran through their veins?

A man came into the room and took him by the shoulder. His father nodded once and turned his back to him. The man led him out and down the sterile hallway. The polished marble floors reflected distorted images of him as he walked, the sound of his new shoes tapping rhythmically on the hard surface ricocheted off the walls.

They passed by numerous unlabeled doors, silver door knobs shiny and glistening as though they were just polished. He did not see a soul all the way to the elevator where they went down to what he assumed was an underground car park. However, there were not many cars around.

His escort opened the door to the back seat of a black car with tinted windows. Without further prompting, Akashi got into the vehicle and settled into the leather seat. His nose was immediately assaulted by foreign scents and his small heart palpitated nervously.

He watched with rapt attention as the man put the key in the ignition and the car roared to life. He had never been in a car before, he felt both nervous and excited at the same time. But more importantly, he was leaving this forsaken place at last. The car backed up and drove out of the car park. Akashi pressed his face to the glass, eager to get his first glimpse of the open sky.

To his disappointment, it wasn’t blue. Storm clouds filled the firmament with dark grey and the rain pelted heavily against the window. There was not much to see except a world of dreary grey. Akashi settled back calmly and patiently waited for the journey to end.

It was night by the time they arrived at driveway of the ivy covered mansion with its tall turrets. The driver left him by the doorstep and drove off. Uncertain of what he was supposed to do, Akashi tried knocking on the intricately craved oak doors. When no response came, he pushed at the door only to find it swung open without any resistance.

Tentatively, he stepped into a vast hall, its domed ceiling high above him. The only source of light came from the elegant chandelier that hung in the middle of the ceiling.

“Hello,” he called out.

A minute passed by and no answer came. However, Akashi was certain he wasn’t alone. He could smell another person’s scent in the air, it was vaguely familiar but he couldn’t figure out why. After moment of sniffing the air, he decided to go down a hallway to his left, where the scent was strongest. Cautiously, he walked down the dimly lit corridor until he reached a nondescript door at the end of the hallway.

From behind hard piece of wood he could hear sounds. Without bothering to knock, he turned the handle and opened the door to reveal a kitchen. In front of a pot bubbling with thick broth, stood a woman with dark brown hair tied into a tight bun. She had his back to him and hummed to herself as she stirred the broth. He had met lady doctors before but somehow this oblivious woman seemed different. She smelled different. And that was when he realized this woman was a human.

The woman chose that moment to turn around, ladle in hand. When her dark eyes met with Akashi’s, she jumped back and dropped the ladle in surprise.

“Good gracious, you scared me there. I didn’t hear you coming in. Are you perchance the young master, Akashi Seijuurou?”

Akashi made no move to answer her question and simply continued to stare at the woman with wide eyes. It was his first time seeing a live human. She wasn’t quite what he had imagined. She looked a lot like him, like a person. And she spoke the same language as him. Akashi had expected humans to resemble other animals and to speak in their own strange tongues.

“No need to look so stricken. I’m the house keeper, Miya. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Miya introduced herself, the corner of her lips quirked up into a smile.

He had never seen a smile before. It was as beautiful as the books say, maybe even more.

That night, Miya tucked him into bed. The woman gently pulled the covers up; made sure he was snug and warm under the duvet and told him a bed time story. As terribly confused as he was by the situation, he felt a strangely calm sensation wash over him and he fell into a deep sleep.

Akashi realized the fact that the housekeeper did not know he was a ghoul when she came into the room in the morning with a tray full of human food she called breakfast. He wondered if this was a test by his father. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to act like a human? Regrettably, the sparkling cinnamon rolls and creamy milk Miya prepared for him was not something he could digest.

In the afternoon, the brown haired woman made him soup seeing as how he didn’t seem to take breakfast too well. Akashi took a sip and almost spat it out immediately but he forced the vile sticky liquid down his throat.

“Oh this is why you’re so small. You need to eat more!”

No one else lived in the mansion save for the two of them. He found the library on the second floor and spent most of his time seated comfortable on the plush couch with a book on his lap.

Outside the paneled window, the firmament was mostly cloudy and it rained a lot. Despite the copious amount of water, the plants outside seemed to be dying. When he unintentionally voiced his thoughts one afternoon, Miya told him it was because it was autumn.

“The trees save their resources by shedding leaves because winter is coming. No worries child, there’ll be a splendid view here when it’s spring time.”

Miya liked to talk, she always had something to say, the weather, the dust and she often complimented his hair as she softly pet his head. Gradually, Akashi became accustomed to her companionship and grew to enjoy the simple days they spent together in the quiet of the lonely mansion. Miya was unlike anyone he had ever met. She showed him kindness; something he thought only existed in the story books he read. Being beside Miya was akin to being wrapped in a warm and fuzzy blanket. He felt safe and content. He also learned it was easier to have her send his meals up to his room so he could dispose of the food by flushing it down the toilet.

A month had passed, he neither received a call from his father nor had anyone came to the mansion. His naïve self thought he could continue his days in this peaceful fashion. But some things weren’t meant to be.

Being around Miya had always provided him with a calm sort of comfort. However, that night as she tucked him in and leaned down to kiss his forehead, Akashi was assaulted by her scent and reminded of his hunger. He had not eaten in over a month.

During the days that followed, Akashi opted to lock himself in his room. It felt like he was in the lab all over again being confined a limited space. Miya would dutifully stand outside his door, trying different ways to comfort him. It was uncomfortable for him to hear her sweet voice laced with sadness. But he could never open the door. Her smell was too tempting and his hunger too difficult to control.

On the day is started snowing, his father finally came to visit him.

They sat in the study, Miya was downstairs. He sat with his back straight and hands folded neatly on his lap, opposite his father. The red haired man’s arms were folded across his chest.

“Do not play with your food.”

Those were the first words his father said to him after a month of absence.

“I do not understand father.”

“Do not expect food to be served to you all the time. You have o learn to hunt for yourself,” his father said, staring at him disapprovingly.

Realizing the true purpose of his stay at the mansion, the colour drained from Akashi’s face.

“I said not to disappoint me.”

“Yes, father.” He hung his head low as the words left his reluctant lips.

His father left right after, without a word of farewell.

Akashi stayed in his room for the rest of the week. It was on a snowy night when it finally came. The red haze that clouded his thoughts slithered and curled around his body. Akashi robotically got up from the bed, walked towards the door and swiftly unlocked it.

Following the familiar and tantalizing smell, he arrived at Miya’s room. Without preamble, he opened the door. Miya sat by the dresser, combing her brown hair. She took one look at him and let loose a shrill scream. He covered his sensitive ears to block out the sudden loud noise. Miya took the opportunity to shove past him and ran out the door. Akashi fell but got up on his feet just as quickly to give chase.

Akashi followed her out of the mansion and into the open freezing night.

“Stay away from me ghoul!” she yelled at a distance.

“I’m sorry … but I’m so hungry,” he took a step forward as snow began to fall.

“You’ll be damned to hell! Ghouls are horrible creatures! You little devil … I almost fell for your trap.”

“No … it’s not like that. Please, I didn’t have choice.”

“Burn in hell!” she spat.

It hurt. Her words and the way she looked at him with pure disgust, as though he were something unholy and dirty. It hurt his heart more than anything. He couldn’t bear to look at her face anymore. Akashi allowed the red haze to cloud his vision. He vaguely saw the following events play out, like a view from a clouded window he could not wipe clear. He saw himself leap at Miya. He saw himself sink his teeth into her soft flesh. He tasted her sweet blood on his tongue.

Steadily, crimson stained the pure white snow around them as the falling flurry covered their previous tracks. He hated the colour red.

The very next day, a car came to pick him up and he never saw the place again.

Living with his father, he had to go through numerous trials and lessons. He had piano classes, martial arts lessons, kendo, swimming, chess and the seemingly endless list would go on. His father expected nothing less than perfection and he did his best to deliver. To not disappoint. He did not want to be sent back to the lab.

Everyday he strove for perfection. Everyday he lost sight of a little bit more of himself. The red block soon became a distant memory, lost in the vast network of newly acquired knowledge and skills in his mind. He often awed the people around him. He became a respected being, adored as a prodigy, a genius. Naturally, there were also people who challenged him, who doubted him. But Akashi easily broke their spirits. Akashi would never lose. His victory was guaranteed from the beginning. Anything except number one was out of the question.

On the first day of middle school, Akashi met a boy that reminded him of simpler days spent flipping through picture books while lazing on the soft white carpet of his small world. The ghoul was named Kuroko Tetsuya, and his eyes – bluer than the infinite sky – enchanted him from day one. The small blue haired boy had little to no presence. The people around him were often oblivious to his existence. Kuroko was quiet and kept to himself most of the time. Akashi did not know if he was quite because nobody noticed him or if it was to avoid human interaction as much as possible.

There were other first year ghouls. The second ghoul that caught his eyes was a tall boy with lush green hair that reminded him of grass in spring time. His name was Midorima Shintarou. He looked intelligent and Akashi invited him to a game of shogi in the library. Midorima proved to be a challenging opponent but ultimately his victory was preordained. Midorima lost, but the very next day, he asked for another match and the day after as well.

Kuroko too had taken to quietly eating lunch with him in an empty classroom. They were his first friends. A concept he was foreign with and yet welcomed.

Midorima always come in second to him be it academics or their shogi matches, but the boy had never once given up and continued to persevere. He was not ashamed of losing and tried to improve in every game. Akashi admired his tenacity and acknowledged him on equal grounds. The green haired male was like a breath of fresh air who understood his need for perfection.

Kuroko was different from Midorima. It could be said their personalities did not match, although weak Kuroko had his own charms. Akashi admitted he was attracted to the boy as more than just friends. Kuroko was the complete opposite of him – he was weak, had little to no presence and nobody expected anything from him. Even Midorima overlooked the shorter boy. However, Akashi saw something more. His blue eyes revealed wisdom beyond his years and yet, they held an innocent sort of peace and naivety that Akashi did not posses, because he was not granted the luxury. Akashi saw everything in Kuroko that he had lost, and everything he had never had. Not only that, but he grew fond of the boy because he never placed expectations on him, like some infallible higher being – not to say that he did not think highly of him. While the boy acknowledged his skills, he had never caused Akashi to feel pressure. In a sense, Kuroko allowed him to be himself.

It gave him a sense of peace. And he grew bold because he could make his own decisions; make decisions without being judged.

It was risky for ghouls to gather openly in one place, but he invited Momoi and Aomine to lunch with them one day. The childhood friends got along well with Kuroko. Akashi didn’t stop there, and Kise Ryouta needed little prompting to join them considering his amiable character. He also took the childish Murasakibara Atsushi under his wing.

Seven ghouls became the unlikeliest of friends. A chaotic mix of clashing personalities that made everyday interesting. The never truly got along with one another but Akashi was always there to smooth things out. He was the center and played his role of keeping peace with ease.

The ghouls acknowledged Akashi in their own uncanny ways. He was strong and smart and taught them to utilize their strengths. As long as Akashi was there they could prevail in a world that rejected their existence.

Lulled by the pretense of friendship and his own strength, his father was there to once again douse cold water upon his head to remind him of his place. The reality of his life came to him in the form of a nondescript file he found in the drawer of a desk in his father’s home office.

The file labeled number seventeen contained detailed data of Akashi Seijuurou. Everything there was to know about him; his strength, abilities, personality and emotional levels were all laid bare in charts and succinct analysis. He was no more than a test subject. An experiment. The seventeenth attempt at producing a one eyed ghoul. His father’s uncultured sperms were injected into a human female’s ovary. He was created. He was merely property that belonged to Dr Akashi. His being did not belong to himself. He lived for a man who did nothing but strip him of his free will. But that would all end soon.

Later that day, Dr Akashi found him seated on an armchair cloaked in the dark silence of his office.

“Seijuurou, what are you doing here? You skipped your violin lesson today,” the man spoke in a condescending tone, clearly displeased at his behavior.

A red claw, its talons sharp and menacing veiled over his eyes. The urge did not cloud over him in a slow mist like usual but it came to him with the tenacity of a starved and enraged beast. Red overtook all his senses and he allowed it free reign. Akashi took a step back and allowed the monster in him to take control.

He watched from the darkest recesses of his mind as his father was torn limb from painful limb and then feasted upon as though he were nothing more than a swine on a platter for Christmas. Akashi tasted the rotten meat. He smelt the foul blood as it trickled down his lips. And he felt nothing.

When red faded from his vision and he found himself on his knees, his father’s unidentifiable remains in front of him, Akashi began to laugh. At himself. At his father. At the world. He was not made to feel. And yet, he loathed the colour red.

Slowly, his world fell into ruin. The people he gathered drifted apart. The syndicate came for him. His father haunted his every thought. The boy that reminded him of clear blue skies rejected him.

On the day of graduation, Kuroko had confronted him.

“Akashi-kun, you’ve changed.”

_For better or worse?_

Akashi closed his eyes. He had not divulged his situation to anyone. But he thought for a moment, maybe, Kuroko would understand. The boy would never judge him.

“Humans are wrong. But ghouls are wrong equally wrong. This world is dirty, full of deceit.”

Kuroko’s eyebrows furrowed slightly at his statement but he remained silent. Attentive.

“I want to destroy this world. Wreck it completely and then … I will create a new world. A paradise for us. Won’t you help me?”

He extended his hand, his companionship. His trust.

But the boy did not take it.

“Indeed, this world is wretched. However, I think it is fine as it is. There is not always a good person, nor a bad one. Most people are somewhere in between – humans and ghouls alike. And even though it feels unfair most of the time, I want to live without regrets … because I believe there is still beauty in this world.”

That was the day the boy he believed he held affections for turned his back on him.

_“You are not made to feel_ ,” the ghost of his father whispered to him.

What was love? Akashi did not know.

 

“Akashi-sama,” the voice of his secretary brought him back to his office.

The young ghoul before him held a large brown envelope in his hands, his face impassive. Akashi waited for him to speak.

“Sir, this is the background check on Takao Kazunari you requested for.”

The man placed the envelope on his desk and he waved him away. Flipping through the crisp document, a smirk formed upon his lips.

_Love was a nuisance. A lie._

“Takao Kazunari, I will destroy your world.”


	8. Chapter 8

 

Takao Kazunari had secrets, just as every living being on the planet did. One secret in particular he kept in a box. A nondescript box inconspicuously hidden under his bed along side other junk or sorts in the dusty and confined space, away from any and all prying eyes. It wasn't an entirely big or grand secret that would affect the course of his life, however, such things were of mitigating circumstances. He simply had a secret in a box. Not one he guarded closely but one Takao could not openly discuss with others. It rarely came to mind on most days but with the introduction of a new chapter in his life, the box steadily began to increase in weight, until its classified contents threatened to spill. 

Slowly, the jitterbug that accompanied fear crept under Takao's skin. What once held little importance to him now became a heavy burden. A dark burden he direly kept to himself, the disarming tendrils of fear having taken root. However, more than fear, there was guilt. Takao held the sin of an ultimate betrayal he could never wash his hands off of. And thus he sealed it, sealed the cardboard flaps of the box together securely with masking tape; sealed his secret. He decided some things were not meant to have light shed upon them. 

Nevertheless, Takao was no fool either. He knew with great certainty - whether he'd like to acknowledge it or not - the fact remained; the box would not be kept under the hat forever. The truth would inevitably be exposed. Yet, he would try meaninglessly, pathetically to live with a smile on his face knowing that someday he may come to be hated by the person he held most precious. But until that unavoidable day, he would cherish every second he had by Midorima's side. 

It was not an outcome he ever desired but such was the nature of life and its complexities. He would not ask for forgiveness - his guilty conscience would not allow it - he simply selfishly wished the time of unravelling secrets would come later rather than sooner. 

* * *

 

Takao sat amidst a barricade of boxes. His life was temporarily packed into square cardboards of various sizes. He began to consider the chances of his aching bottom staying flat for the rest of his life from the lengthy period of time he remained seated on the hard floor without a cushion. The cushions were haphazardly packed into any one of the moving boxes, of which he wasn't entirely sure anymore as he merely stuffed any item into every available space within any boxes, rendering the deed of labelling an infeasible feat. 

With a yawn and a stretch of his tired muscles, Takao ungracefully collapsed onto the floor, his lower back protesting from bending over too much. Languid eyes viewed the entirety of the small square space. The room he had inhabited for the past year was larger than he remembered when stripped of most of the furniture and his belongings. Light streamed in unfiltered from where the curtains had been taken down to be washed. The bare walls bore scars of calendars and messily pinned up college notes and reminders.  The large Ikea bookshelf he personally and painstakingly assembled had been emptied and wiped clean of dust. Overall, his little room seemed far more spacious than it had been just a few days ago and a curious melancholy seized his heart at the sight of all the empty corners that previously housed his personal items. 

Takao was unsure of what to do with the large furniture, Midorima had assured him he had the bare necessities - namely a bed, table and bookshelf - ready at his place. Upon  the thought of the adorable tsundere man, a smile graced his lips. The relief was short lived however when his eyes caught sight of a box of which contents he was achingly familiar with despite the lack of labels. 

"I wonder what they would make of this if they ever found out. Not that they ever will," he thought aloud to himself with mild amusement. 

Life throws you into the most amusing situations. It is full of unprecedented things and riddles. The unconventional situation he found himself in gave rise to one of the toughest decisions he had to make in his life. Although he truly loved Midorima, the ghoul's proposition took him by complete surprise. Surprise, and elation. Those were the initial feelings that coursed excitedly through his blood vessels. Takao was one step from throwing himself into those warm, welcoming arms and gladly accept his offer. Yes, of course he wanted to live with him, to spend more time together, create memories, grow a plant and do the housework together. Mundane and simple things that made up the grand  average everyday life. He wanted that. 

But the darkness from under his bed held him back. Happily ever after sounded too ideal to be true. It was mere fantasy. 

"Um …." he started, hesitant of his next words. 

The green haired male had insisted, he emerald gaze straight with sincerity and firm resolution. Sincerity Takao could not face and thus looked away from. A blush crept up his face, nothing made him happier than to see the proof of Midorima's strong feelings towards him. However, the guilt he felt at the moment was also maddening. Takao had been tempted to blurt everything out then and there. Maybe, Midorima would understand. He loved him. Trusted him. There was the possibility he would forgive his inexcusable actions. The rational part of himself reprimanded those foolishly naive thoughts. 

He could never hoped to be forgiven. He did not deserve to be forgiven. He had no luxury nor theright to ask for forgiveness. 

Shortly after that evening, Midorima went missing. Anxiety claimed his senses and his thoughts were filled with unease even he could not quell no matter how he tried to calm his racing heart. 

If only  … he had tho ught.  Various  ' if ' s that may or may not have helped to elevate the predicament he found himself in.   


Perhaps, that was the catalyst for his final decision. The depth of his feelings were beyond the simplicity of love. He would not call Midorima something as fleeting as a lover or a boyfriend. He was not extravagant and fictional like a significant other half  that made him whole either. He would not pin him with such insignificant, materialistic words. No, the man was important but Takao could live with or without him, because Midorima was like family. Unconditionally loved. Irreplaceable. Their lives were intricately tied together. It was likely Midorima too had thought the same, otherwise the man would not have asked to share his everyday. 

With that thought in mind, Takao clung to him. Promising his forever, no matter how short or long it may be. He knew it was selfish of him but perhaps it wasn't entirely bad. Even when there came a day he would be looked upon with contempt by the beautiful emerald irises he came to love, they would still be inexplicably connected. A connection  Midorima could never erase. Even if it was severed by hatred. Even if he no longer breathed. 

Takao uncovered the box from below his bed, no longer fearing its contents. With the tip of a blade, he cut the tape, shedding light into the darkness. Old college manuals and textbooks greeted his sight; a cover and hopefully a dissuasion for any unwanted hands. Cunningly hidden between the pages of the manuals were newspaper clippings and below the bound paper were files, files containing data to related to every known ghoul in Tokyo. Thus was Takao's deepest, darkest secret. His affiliation with the CCG. 

The name Takao Kazunari was not officially listed as a staff or memberin the intricate CCG database. There were many things he did not have access to, there was also an equal amount of things he had access to that an average rookie investigator did not. He had never attended the academy nor had he any prior training in the ghoul investigation field. The depth and width of his knowledge solely came from a personage he called his mentor. Takao was not assigned any fanciful role or title, little within the organization knew of his involvement and that was how the top brass wanted it. Behind the scenes, Takao's shadowed existence was nicknamed the observer due to his uncanny ability. An ability that lead him to Midorima - and perhaps the unravelling of himself. 

Amongst the classified documents, he retrieved a photograph, the shiny coloured sheet so out of place among the black and white pages. The reason the photograph was in the box was already a long forgotten memory. There were moments Takao considered setting fire to the box to erase the contents. Once, he was close - a lighter in hand - but the photograph stopped him. Just because something did not exist physically, it in no way means it did not exist. Thus it remained a burden he had to bear until the bitter end. 

The boy let out a short chuckle. He had often considered himself an outsider, an audience to the theater known as life, never directly involved. Yet, he could no longer attach himself to the role of an observer. Takao's life was now deeply woven with the story of others; of ghouls, of humans. Standing on a thin rope that divided the two different yet similar species. If fate was kind, he would not have to choose between such things of equal importance. 

Still, Takao believed in a third choice. One he would choose when the inevitable came. 

* * *

 

A mix between nervousness and elation battled for dominance within Midorima. A day he had never seen coming, one he welcomed with equal parts apprehension and happiness. Nonetheless, he believed it would work out somehow. He decided he would do it, as had Takao. Said boy would be arriving with the movers soon.  Midorima stood in front of the door, waiting, wiping sweaty palms onto his trousers and rearranging his facial expression into one of impassiveness. As he waits, he recalls the day after his escape from Hanamiya - the foul taste afresh in his senses - in Seirin's upper floor. 

_ "Please give me some time to think," he had said to Takao and walked out.  _

_ Kuroko stood motionless by the door as though waiting for him.  _

_ "May I have a word with you?" the blue haired male questioned softly.  _

_ His former schoolmate led him to a room he assumed was Kuroko's personal room. On a table by the corner of the room, there was a vase of white spider lilies and several framed photographs. Upon closer inspection, Midorima found that the flowers were merely origami replicates, he did not ponder on the fact for long as the contents of the photographs caught his attention. There was a group photo of everyone during their middle school  years;Aomine and Momoi on both sides of Kuroko, Akashi in the middle,  Kise by his side and Murasakibara and himself behind them. Midorima did not recall when it was taken but his eyes softened as he gazed at the picture. They seemed happy then. Beside the large frame of their group was another photo; a candid of Akashi and Kuroko, small content smiles playing on their lips and eyes bright with innocence, hope and a hint of something Midorima was all too painfully familiar with, affection. Kuroko caught him staring.  _

_ "I had wondered if things would have been different if I had accepted him then."  _

_ Midorima released a breath, he was barely aware of the circumstances relating to their relationship then. Akashi had always held the small blue haired boy in a curious light, one he never understood then. But he could never be certain, Midorima  had not been close enough to Kuroko at the time to make a proper deduction and Akashi would never divulge such information. One could only wonder. Even so, the Akashi now was of his own making and no one else's. Kuroko was not concerned in this matter.  _

_ "What he has become now is not your doing. You do not need to feel responsible for how things turned out."  _

_ Kuroko looked up at him, his expression unreadable. A short moment later, a small smile crept into his features and his eyes shone with melancholy .  _

_ "It was a pleasant surprise when you called, Midorima-kun. I am no stranger to your doings in the past year." _

_ He did not need to say exactly what he implied but Midorima could guess. He was speaking of his time in the fourteenth ward.  _

_ "Although I gave you that number knowing you were of a more agreeable mind set, I had not hoped you would actually call." _

_ "I didn't ... " he replied quietly. "But things changed."  _

_ "Indeed. You've changed, Midorima-kun. And I believe it's for the better."  _

_ The smile faded and his face took on a serious note once again. "That is why I am concerned about you Midorima-kun."  _

_ Exhaling a long sigh, Midorima took a seat on the plush armchair, resigned to the imminent conversation he was about to have. They had never gotten along in the past but he  always found Kuroko more tolerable of the unruly lot gathered around Akashi. Moreover, in the past months he had come to admire the path his former schoolmate had carved for himself. Perhaps, a conversation with this plain but ambitious ghoul would ease the raging emotions within him. In his own way, he had anticipated this conversation since meeting Kuroko in the hallway after walking out on Takao.  _

_ "What compelled you to form Seirin?"  _

_ It was question he often wondered. Seirin, a ghoul organization built on friendship, aiming to live in peace with humans. The opposite of the organization Akashi founded. As though directly opposing the red haired ghoul.  _

_ "Just as how we have lost loved ones, humans too mourn for a family member or a friend. A loved one. Akashi hates this world, without ever giving it a chance. But Midorima-kun, you know better. Do you honestly wish to return to how things were?"  _

_ Midorima had often sought solace since the death of his parents. Finding it nowhere, the days dragged on until it became an  indefinable length of time where one day blended into another. Living without a sense of purpose. His soul forever howling mournfully into the starless, hopeless sky that could grant no wishes. But then, Takao appeared. Like a full moon shining gently on his solitary figure and Midorima no longer needed the stars. _

_ The human brought with him calm calamity. Days filled with comedic scenes. Uneasy events that stirred his soul. Even the days spent doing nothing were somehow fulfilling. All the moments, both good and bad, were precious to Midorima. He felt alive in the company of the jovial boy. More than just solace, Takao gave him much more than he ever hoped for and henceforth carved a place deep within his heart. It was scary, how a simple smile from the black haired beauty could warm him to his very core. But that was the terrifying power Takao held over him. He was an irreplaceable being in his life. Midorima wanted those days to last forever, wanted the human by his side always. But there was also the maddening fear of losing Takao forever.  _

_ The incident with Hanamiya served to slap him awake back to reality. He had grown too comfortable and therefore too lax in his vigilance and worst of all, he got Takao in danger. For that misstep, he could not forgive himself.  _

_ "Isn't the answer obvious."  _

_ How could he ever forget the lingering touches, the warmth of his laugh, the soft kisses they shared and the eyes that shone brighter than starlight. There was no going back to how things were. Takao was permanently engraved into his life. He wanted to protect Takao's smile.  _

_ As though reading his thoughts, Kuroko gave a knowing smile and left him with parting words to ponder on.  _

_ "Home, isn't only defined by a place."  _

_ Midorima had underestimated Kuroko in the past due to his little presence. Regrettably, he did not give a chance to know him better. He had never been so wrong in his life. He owned the small ghoul for many things. However, the past was the past. Now he wished to know him better. Kuroko was more aware and in tune with his surroundings than most people he knew. Forming an organization to aid other ghouls was no small feat either. Thanking Kuroko, he bowed deeply.  _

_ The blue haired male smiled back. He had made his decision. He wanted Takao to be his family, his home.   _

_ The traverse back to the sitting room was taken with slow steps, his mind carefully contemplating  his choice of words. Upon reaching the brown oak door, he knocked once before turning the doorknob. The room was as he left it. It seemed Takao had not moved an inch since. Still as a statue, his silvery irises were distant and the usually observant boy did not seem to be aware of his presence. Midorima cleared his voice loudly, hoping to gain his attention.  _

_ "Oh! Shin-chan, you're back," the raven haired boy stammered slightly, glancing nervously at Midorima's grave expression, fearing the worst.  _

_ "Takao, if you truly regret nothing, my proposal still stands."  _

_ "Eh?" _

_ "Will you move in with me?"  _

_ The male's eyes widened into saucers, mouth gaping open and close, uncertain of the words it should utter in response. A moment passed in this fashion until Takao closed his mouth in a resolute line, and started laughing until his eyes watered.  _

_ "Pfft hahaha. Shin-chan, you're honestly too much!" he exclaimed, wiping at the corner of his eyes as his laugh died down into small chuckles. _

_ Before Midorima could retort with a biting remark, Takao spoke with all the sincerity he could muster, smile as charming and beautiful as ever .  _

_ "Do you even need to ask? Of course I'll say yes."  _

The doorbell rang, startling Midorima out of his reminiscence. The chime was followed by a knock and Takao's chipper voice sounded from the other side. 

"Shin-chaaan. Hurry up and open the door, the boxes are heavy." 

Taking a second to compose himself, Midorima turned the door knob, turning the page to a new chapter in his life. Takao was standing by the middle of the door frame, portraying domesticity like a home drama series. The raven haired boy was dressed in a loose T-shirt and track pants and his dark bangs were held back by a red hairband.  Midorima wordlessly took the small box cradled in the boy's arms and weighted it. 

"This is not particularly heavy," he stated with a raised eyebrow. 

"Hehe, maybe not for you," Takao replied and bounded into the house. 

Several workers - large men in standardised uniforms - carrying boxes on their shoulders followed the younger male into the house. Glancing out into the hallway, Midorima  determined it was safe to leave the door open and unattended as the workers moved in and out of his house. 

In what was previously the guest room, he found Takao kneeling by the boxes as the workers set them down by the corner of the room. The boy seemed to be checking them for labels. 

"Should I help with carrying the boxes?" he offered, uncertain of what to do. 

"Nah it's fine. I don't have much. There's only a couple more boxes and the guys are bringing them up as we speak." 

The men left as soon as all the boxes had been delivered safely. Midorima thanked them and closed the door, locking it. Strangely nervous, he went back to the room that now officially belonged to Takao. The boxes were stacked up to one side of the wall and the younger boy was sitting on the floor with an opened box in front of him, going through its contents. Midorima fidgeted by the door, uncertain if he should lend a hand or leave the male to sort through his things in peace. But he wanted to do something, anything. 

"Do you want anything to drink? I can make coffee or tea. How about something to eat?" his own voice sounded strange to his ears. 

Silver eyes looked up at him in curiosity, eyeing him, before his curiosity quickly morphed into amusement. Putting down the article of clothing in his hand back into the box, Takao got up and walked towards the taller male. Halting a few feet away, he bowed a perfect ninety degrees, startling Midorima. 

"I'll be in your care starting today. Let's get along well!" 

The human rose to his full height once again, beaming up at him. The smile on his soft lips was not one of mock but a gentle curve he often reserved for Midorima in special moments such as this. Feeling his heart warm and his muscles relax, he returned it with an almost shy smile, nerves dying down. 

"Same here." 

"With that said, coffee sounds nice. As for food … hmm," the boy tapped his chin with his index finger, head cocked adorably to the side. 

Midorima could not help but find the gesture enduring, fingers twitching to reach out and caress the glowing cheeks. 

"I think I'll order pizza. I'm kinda tired from the move to cook," Takao finally decided with a snap of his fingers. 

"I'll make the coffee now," he nodded once. 

"I'll help!" Takao clung to his arm, his smile alight with glee. 

"At least take a shower first. You reek," Midorima grimaced. 

"Aww Shin-chan that's mean!" 

Their friendly bicker continued to the hallway where Takao eventually sauntered off to the bathroom with the intention of taking a hot bath to soak his tired muscles. Midorima walked to the kitchen. Normal. Everything felt normal. A normality he could find comfort in. He was expecting a change in atmosphere or simply for things to be different. Instead, nothing had changed. Rather, their surroundings had changed but Takao and he stayed the same. Quiet and peaceful. It was the kind of life his parents desired. Full of average days he could appreciate with the person he loved by his side. After all these years he finally understood why his parents went to such great lengths to live among humans. Midorima would not trade these tranquil days for anything. 

That day he had made his decision to share his life with Takao. He had also resolved to sever his ties with Teikou and therefore Akashi. He did not wish to be affiliated with the organization any longer. It was time to abandon his burning rage for revenge and move on with his life. It was Takao who helped free him from the shackles that bound him to the past. But there was still one thing he had to do in order to move forward -  Midorima had to contact Akashi and formally inform him of his decision to leave. It was unlikely the red head would take his choice kindly. However, they had known each other for many years. He hoped against hope that the male would come to understand and accept long-thought decision, if not for the sake of their friendship. 

"Ah that felt great," Takao informed as he stepped into the kitchen. 

His black hair was still wet, shining droplets of water dripping onto the towel around his shoulders. The boy did not seem to mind it as a wide smile graced his features, looking refreshed. 

"At least dry your hair properly!" Midorima reprimanded. 

"It's fine, it'll dry in its own soon enough," the male replied with a lazy wave of his hand. Brushing past Midorima he picked up his phone from the counter and dialled a number. After an invigorating bath he was starting to feel hungry. 

Midorima however, as meticulous of the little things as always, would not allow it. After Takao had successfully ordered his pizza, Midorima took the boy by the wrist and dragged him - with little to no protest surprisingly - to the living room. There, he sat on the sofa and motioned for the raven haired male to sit on the floor between his legs. 

"I'll dry your hair for you," he said, facing away to hide his slightly warm cheeks. 

"Wah Shin-chan is so caring! Well then, I won't hold back," Takao teased with a grin, plopping down on the floor in front of him almost purring like a cat from the attention he received. 

Midorima took the towel from his shoulders and began his task. Time passed in silence, Midorima wholly focused on the task and Takao relaxing, occasionally nodding off from the comfortable feeling of soft strokes massaging his scalp. 

"T-Takao," the taller male coughed, clearing his throat. 

The younger male hummed in response. 

"I have decided to quit Teikou. I plan to inform Akashi of my intentions." As the words left his lips, his hands halted from their work. 

Takao turned to face him and placed a warm palm on his thigh. 

"Whatever you decide, you have my full support." The words were delivered softly, silver eyes sparkling like stars. 

Finally giving into his temptations, Midorima reached out with his left hand and stroked the male's cheek affectionately, his thumb tracing soft circles on the smooth skin. Like a cat, Takao leaned into his touch, smiling contently. 

"Thank you … Kazunari." Without realizing it himself, the name slipped naturally past his lips. Takao on the other hand, froze on the spot. 

"What did you just call me?" he questioned, voice an octave higher than usual. 

Realizing his mistake, Midorima hastily adjusted his glasses and sputtered a denial, a random string of words he was barely aware of. Though, it seemed the younger male was also unable to comprehend his words as he continued to stare on incredulously. Was it a mistake though, he wondered. Midorima had considered addressing the boy by his given namefor a while now but he had never thought it was this simple. But the atmosphere had lulled him into a comfortable state and lowered his guard. 

"Hey … say it again." 

"Pardon?" 

"Say my name again. I wanna hear it." 

Judging by the Cheshire grin spread across the boy's face, he knew Takao was teasing him again. 

"No."

"Aww Shin-chan you never call me by my given name. It's not fair," the male whined, pouting adorably. 

"You do not use my proper name either," he replied haughtily. 

Takao hummed thoughtfully in response. A moment later his eyes lit up and his grin grew mischievous. Midorima imagined a light bulb had lit up over his head, though not with the best of ideas considering his impish nature. True enough, Takao stood up from the floor only to straddle Midorima's hips, arms encircling around his head. The raven haired male leaned in until his lips were next to the flushed ears of the taller man. 

"I love you … Shintarou," he whispered affectionately, almost shyly with the soft lilt in his voice. 

He knew he was being teased. But the words and smooth voice rang with sincerity. Suddenly feeling the room temperature rise, he pushed Takao away and quickly stood up, his face burning red. 

"I-I have to make a call!" 

"Hm … alright. Mind if I watch TV?" 

"Do as you please," Midorima replied and made his hasty escape, his emotions too overwhelming to put into words. Oddly, the boy did not tease him further but he didn't ponder long about it. 

In his room, Midorima sat by the edge of the bed, his racing heart having calmed down sufficiently to clear his thoughts. Blatantly saying, he had run away, but he wasn't certain of what to do in such an embarrassing situation. Besides, he had not lied; he had to call Akashi. Midorima was certain now, he had to see it through. Takao had been honest about his feelings, getting his point across loud and clear. He too wished to embrace and reciprocate those feelings and cast away unwanted insecurities. Resolute about his decision, Midorima dialled a number he had not used in a long time but remembered nonetheless. Waiting in quiet anticipation for the call to connect, it took three rings when he heard a click and Akashi's voice resounded from the other end of the line. 

"Shintarou, it's been a long time since I last heard from you," the red head greeted without preamble. 

"Good evening, Akashi … I'll cut straight to the chase, there's something I wish to tell you and I'd like to meet you in person." 

The line was silent for a while before he finally heard a reply. "Very well, meet me in the usual chapel tomorrow at ten." 

"I understand." 

"If that is all, I have other things to attend to."   


"Yes. Goodbye Akashi." 

As the line went dead, Midorima heaved a sigh. It had indeed been a while since he had spoken to the charismatic ghoul. There was still that air of intensity about the male that served to put him on edge, as though treading on a thin rope, cautious of his every word and action. It wasn't always like that though. He still recalled the time he honestly enjoyed the redhead's presence. Lost time of simpler days where they could play shogi endlessly without a care for the world. Shaking the nostalgic thoughts away, he set his alarm clock to a slightly early time than usual. There was something he had to prepare. 

Takao awoke to a slightly familiar scent, the smell of the softener Midorima used for this clothes permeated from the soft sheets. Feeling warm and cosy, he rolled over and snuggled deeper into the pillow, his back to the window where the sun was streaming in through a small partition between the curtains. The comfortable warmth of silence however, was interrupted by a loud growl from his stomach. Groaning, Takao sat up,  rubbed sleepily at his eyes and yawned. He had managed to sort his clothes into the wardrobe and drawers and unpacked half of the boxes of books by the end of the night. He was still a little tired, his lazy nature already dreading to make his own breakfast. Takao got up anyways and stumbled to the door, intent on washing his face first to hopefully wake himself up. 

Upon opening the door, he was assaulted by a smell of something burning. Immediately, his senses became alert and ran to the source of the smell. 

"Shin-chan! Is something burning?!" he exclaimed as he reached the kitchen where the smell was most pungent, only to find Midorima with a frying pan in hand. 

"T-Takao?! T-this is … you're up early?" the tall man stuttered, his face sporting a stricken look as if he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

"Shin-chan … what are you doing?" 

"That … I-" the green haired man cleared his throat and adjusted his spectacles. "I was making breakfast for you." 

Takao stared in a dumb struck manner and surveyed the room. There were dirty dishes in the sink and the burnt smell wafted from the suspicious looking black mold in the frying pan the tall ghoul held. 

"Oh," he replied stupidly. 

"You should take a seat. It's ready … I think," Midorima glared at the pan, brows furrowed and lips shaped in a frown. 

He took a seat at the island as the green haired male scraped the black thing onto a plate. He placed the plate in front of him and a bowl of what Takao assumed was miso soup beside it. 

"So … what is this?" he questioned, eying the smoked lump uncertainly. 

"Pancakes and miso soup," the man informed proudly. 

The boy pinched his lips together and puffed out his cheeks in an attempt to restrain his laughter. A combination of Japanese and Western style breakfast was bizarre and too hilarious. Hesitantly, Takao took the first bite, the taller male watching him intently. 

"How is it?" 

"Hm … unique," he gulped loudly and drank the miso soup, sputtering a little. 

Midorima's frown deepened. 

"It tastes bad, doesn’t it? Sorry, I'll throw it away," he moved to retrieve  the plate. 

"No!" Takao grabbed the plate away from his reaching hands. "Sure it's a little burnt … and the miso's a bit too salty … but it's good. I like it … it's been a while since someone made breakfast for me. I'm really happy. Thank you Shin-chan," Takao said, eyes glistening full of emotion and an adoring smile graced his lips.

"You're welcome … I'm glad you like it." 

After breakfast, Takao helped to clean the dishes and they decided to lounge on the sofa once the deed was done. Takao sat cuddled up next to Midorima while the older man wrapped his arm around his shoulder. 

"Takao."

"Hm?" 

"Tonight, I'm going to meet Akashi."

"Where?"

"In a chapel a little ways away from here. I'll be gone for an hour or two."

"Okay … stay safe," Takao breathed the words softly and nuzzled into the man's chest. 

They spent the rest of the day in quiet company, simply relaxing. When night fell, Midorima prepared to leave and Takao saw him off. As the door clicked shut behind the green haired male, the smile on his face faded. Takao slipped on his jacket and shoes and went out a few minutes after he was certain the taller man had left the building. He did not have to tail Midorima to know where he was heading. There weren't that many chapels in the area, least of all one that was rarely visited. Moreover, he had read a report once about a chapel related to suspicious ghoul activities. The address and circumstances seemed to fit the bill. It was a risky endeavour but he too had something he had to do no matter the cost. After all, he was no longer a mere spectator in the story. 

In lieu of taking the train, he decided to call a taxi on the off chance he would bump into Midorima at the station. He couldn't risk being found out before he had done what he set out to do. The taxi stopped a few blocks from the chapel and the boy walked the rest of the way, pulling the collar of his jacket higher to shield his neck from the biting cold. The aged building loomed up ahead, foreboding with its pointed roof and grey slates against the inky black backdrop of the starless night. 

No lights could be seen from where he stood, the windows dark without even the shadow of a ghost. Takao jogged the last few steps, crunching untrodden snow underfoot. Something did not feel right. Something about the atmosphere unsettled him, making his stomach churn with nerves. He briefly wondered if he was in the wrong place, but a small voice in his head told him that wasn't the case. He was in the correct place, the place where the stage was set for him. Swallowing his nerves with an inkling of what to expect, he gently pushed open the oak door and it swung inwards with a loud groan on old rusty hinges. 

As the clouds scud across the sky by a determined wind, a pale wash of moonlight shone through and lessened the darkness for a short moment. But it was enough. In the darkness of the chapel, he could make out a silhouette by the altar. 

"Welcome Takao Kazunari. I have been waiting for you," a smooth voice greeted him. It was a voice he had heard only once before, but the fine timbre had been ingrained deeply into his memory nonetheless. 

The candles that lined the windows were breathed to life as Takao stepped foot into the vast hall, closing the door softly behind him and shutting out the cold world outside. The room dyed in ember revealed a man with blazing red hair matched with a pair of heterochromatic eyes, glowing sinister like a beast in a dark forest. 

"Somehow, I'm not surprised … Akashi  Seijuurou," he gave a wry smile. 

"I knew you would find this place. Come, have a seat," Akashi beckoned him with an outstretched hand. 

Takao walked down the aisle, past dusty wooden benches, the plush worn carpet muffling his steps so the only sound he heard was his own heartbeat, the palpitation loud in the tense silence. Up ahead, the stained glass reflected a kaleidoscope of fractured colours onto the stone altar. He reckoned the moon had come out of hiding once again as the large cross cast a long shadow before it. Takao stopped a few feet away and remained standing, staring the red head in the eye despite the nerves prickling his skin with shivers.    


"You have everything planned out pretty well huh," he stated. 

The smile he received from the cunning ghoul chilled him to the core. He could not read the intention behind those mismatched eyes but he doubted he had been called out in such a manner for a simple conversation. The sense of trepidation from before was still howling mournfully at the back of his mind.

"Naturally, I know everything there is to know about this city and the people in it. There isn't a secret anyone can keep from me - be it a ghoul … or a human," Akashi replied, his gaze turning sharp at the last word.

"Hm, do you fancy yourself a god then?" Takao dared to jest. 

"Do you believe in god, Takao?" the red head continued, ignoring the simple jest. He faced the cross, smile never leaving his lips. 

"You tell me, since you seem to know everything." 

This time, Akashi did not disregard his mocking words and turned sharply to face him, lips pressed in a tight line. 

"I would warn you against showing any imprudence when speaking to me. " 

Takao gave a dismissive shrug, smiling slightly at his success of tipping Akashi's well- balanced act. Indeed, he feared the ghoul that seemed to emanate the scent of death. The eyes that glinted red in the ember light did not bode well with him. But that did not mean he would give in and cower in fear. Even as a weak human, he had his pride. 

"Think what you like … but did you honestly go through all that trouble to get me here just to talk?" 

"You are too presumptuous. I know who you are. I know your despicable lies." 

With a sigh, he closed his eyes. A part of him had expected this, while another part of him hoped in vain for the opposite. However, Akashi was not the one to decide his fate. He was not the one he intended to confess to. 

"Do you really? If you did, I imagine you would have gone ahead and kill me like you said you would all those months ago. So why this?" 

"Indeed, there is something I wish to ask you," the red head approached him, smiling as he closed in on his prey. 

Sensing danger, Takao backed away but the ghoul's quick reflexes easily surpassed him. Akashi caught him by the throat, thin cold fingers gripped his neck and pulled until he lost his footing. The ceiling flew past his vision and the world blurred as his head came in contact with a hard surface, rattling his brain and causing his thoughts to scrabble in disarray. When he finally opened his eyes, Akashi's face came into view and from the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the cross looming almost threateningly. His body was pressed to the altar. The hand on his neck had loosened, but not enough for him to break free.

"Takao Kazunari, would you lie in the presence of god?" 

Snow blanketed the winding pathways of the deserted park. Only one set of footprints marred the glacial white sea. Midorima had waited in the cold for half an hour. It was unusual for Akashi to change the time and meeting place at the last minute, but he did not think  much about it. Perhaps something unprecedented had occurred that required his immediate attention - he had reasoned. The train was headed in the right direction anyways, he simple had to dismount at a different station. It was only when he found the park devoid of any living being that be began to feel a strange heaviness settle in his heart; as though something was terribly wrong. But he couldn't figure out what. 

And so he waited patiently, growing anxious with every passing minute. Earlier, he had texted Akashi to inform him of his arrival. When he did not receive a reply, he had tried to call but the call when straight to voicemail. Something had happened. To the red head, or something else was in the works. Nevertheless, his unease grew as snowflakes drifted softly to the ground, covering his tracks. 

Half an hour after his arrival, his phone finally rang, loud and obtrusive in the silence. It was Akashi. 

"Akashi? Where are you? Did something happen?" he questioned in a single breath. 

"Shintarou, you should forget about that human," the male calmly replied. 

"What?" 

"Takao Kazunari is not who you think he is." 

At the mention of that particular name, time seemed to halt in its tracks and his eardrums were overcome with a continuous ring as the pieces slowly fell into place. This was a set up. The gnawing feeling in his gut was a warning he should have heeded. 

"What did you do to Takao?" he demanded in a low tone, his voice grave. 

"We simply talked."

"I don't believe you. Leave Takao alone, he hasn't done anything wrong." 

"Shintarou you have been blinded too long. The human has been feeding you nothing but lies. I will put an end to this." 

"Akashi stop! That's not true!" The line had already been cut off, only the silent trees heard his distressed cry. 

In a desperate attempt to prove his worst fears wrong, he dialled Takao's number. The beep of the voicemail served only to mock his current predicament. He glared at his phone, distraught jumbled his thoughts into a mass of confusion. As his mind raced, a sudden thought struck him. 

_ The chapel.  _

He ran, faster than he had ever before, ignoring the cold and the frost biting into his lungs, the world whizzing past in blurred lines. Only a single thought occupied his mind, a single thought that propelled him forward on the swift tread of fear. He had to save Takao. 

The distance between the park and the chapel was not far, nor was it close either. Midorima was panting hard by the time he caught sight of the pointed roof of the old building. With his goal in sight, he pushed his own boundaries and sprinted the last few meters, throwing open the wooden door, almost breaking it off its hinges in his haste. It was the smell that hit him first, fresh and sweet like warm honey on a balmy day. The familiar smell of Takao's blood. 

"Shintarou … you came sooner than I expected. But it matters not. The deed is done," Akashi's voice reached out to him from the darkness. 

The male was immaculate as ever, standing tall and regal with ironed smooth clothes. However, there were wet stains, like splatters of blood, on the dark fabric and the red head  held a blood soaked cloth in his hands. Then he saw it, on the altar like a sick offering in worship to a pagan god; the lifeless body of a black haired male. His stomach had been ripped open, displaying a bouquet of shiny pink intestines as crystal blood dripped down the white stone to pool on the floor. 

"What did you do to him?!" he yelled as he raced to the body, pushing past Akashi. 

By the altar he fell on his knees and examined the body. With tremulous hands he searched for a pulse and found it, but it was faint, barely there. Midorima gripped Takao's hand tightly, a vain attempt to anchor and stop the life from slipping away as the cold steadily crept between the pale fingers. 

"Takao works for the CCG. He's been lying to you all these time." 

Midorima whipped his head up at to face the red head, his blood going cold at the words. 

"That's … not possible," he stammered. 

"It's true. It is likely he was sent to investigate you," the statement was delivered with a precision that verged on cruelty. Akashi placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, a small act of comfort. 

"Forget about him." 

Midorima stared at the deathly pale face of the male he adored. Onxy locks fell softly over closed eyes and his dark lashes rested softly on white cheeks. It almost looked as if Takao was in a deep sleep if not for the trickle of blood from slightly parted lips. The boy's expression looked too serene in  comparison to the ghastly wound on his torso.  He did not wish to believe it, but Akashi would not lie to him about such matters. Still, he couldn't bring himself to believe it, after all these months. Was every moment they shared a lie? He couldn't believe it. He couldn't accept it. It was real, the emotions that coursed through his blood were real, the time they spent together, laughing, despairing, relaxing, every second of it was real. He wanted to hear it from Takao himself. 

_ Why? _

"I can't forget. Please … please save him ," Midorima slumped down in defeat, hot tears staining his cheeks as he cried for the second time in his life. He couldn't let go. 

"Please save him. I beg of you, I'll do anything."

"You're a fool Shintarou," Akashi gazed at his old time friend coldly, expression void of any compassion. But for a moment, for a fraction of a second a fond memory flitted across his sight. 

Basked in the multi-coloured  fractured light of the moon that filtered through the glass panels, the human Takao Kazunari died.   


_ I believe in a third choice.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought I was dead, you were probably right. I make no excuse for the terrible delay nor will I apologize for the horrid end to the chapter. But don't kill me yet there's 2 more chapter to go~ Wish me luck writing them?  
> Anyways-  
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY PRECIOUS CINNAMON BUN TAKAO KAZUNARI! Please know that I love you very VERY much and wish you live happily ever after with your darling tsuntsun carrot cake Midorima. I never wanted to hurt you. This is actually an awful way to celebrate his birthday. There must be something innately wrong with my brain.

**Author's Note:**

> I've read a few MidoTaka Tokyo Ghoul fics and fell in love with the idea. But I wanted more than just oneshots so I decided to write one myself. Hope you enjoy reading this. Kudos and comments are much appreciated <3


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